This particular encounter involved a line printer. For those not familiar with this antique method of creating waste paper, its main components are a rapidly spinning drum on which the characters are embossed, an inked ribbon and a horizontal array of hammers that strike the paper just when the desired character rotates past.

For some reason, the printers' cabinet was open and my coworker decided to peek inside. Bad idea. The rapidly rotating drum caught her hair, pulling her head towards the printer with great force. Luckily, she managed to grab onto the offending strands and was jammed against the printer with her clenched fist firmly wedged against her head. Otherwise she would have been scalped...

Another acquaintance was a part time farmer. It was late in the harvest season and rain was forecast for the next week, so he was in a bit of a hurry to turn the hay in one of his fields. He headed out with his tractor while it was already getting dark. Once in the field, he put the tractor in idle but did not disengage the drive shaft while proceeding to unfold the hay turning machinery.

His heavy duty jacket got grabbed by the drive shaft and the force pulled him first over and then under the machine. Further rotation twisted his arm around the shaft, breaking the bones in several places and wrapped the jacket tight around the shaft while putting considerable crushing force on his torso.

He remembers thinking how stupid it was to hurry up and die for his trouble.

Thankfully the engine stalled and stopped, which left him hanging around with a couple of broken ribs and a bruised right lung. He was able to cut himself loose using his knife and attract the attention of passing traffic before being transported to hospital and making a full recovery.

So PLEASE remember: Heavy things that rotate rapidly are not to be messed with...

Submitted on 06/25/2013

Submitted by: Gunter
Reference: n/a

Copyright © 2013 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Although we've gotten lots of stories about farmers, mechanics, etc. getting caught up in machinery I don't think we've ever received one involving an office worker getting caught in a printer like that. Thanks for sharing, Gunter!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
OUCH!!! Thanks, Gunter!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom Keep yourself out of the gene pool! A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $13 for Pack of 4