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2013 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
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Poison Vagina

2013 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin/Wendy says, "Thanks for the submission, but although foolhardy and ridiculous, this is likely to be an Urban Legend. I searched for news of the murderous vagina plot, and found it first reported in The Reigster UK April 2011 with an excess of puns! in the article. Since then, it has been featured in various articles, without attribution, most notably a burst of references in February 2013. Best left in the Slush pile."
ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

A Brazilian woman has been accused of trying to kill her husband by putting poison in her vagina and asking him to have oral sex with her.

The intended victim — identified only as a 43-year-old man from Sao de Jose Rio Preto – knew something was going on when he noticed an unfamiliar odor coming from his wife’s freshly poisoned nether region.

But here’s the thing about vaginas, as this woman soon learned: They are very porous.

Realizing that his wife was probably absorbing a majority of the poison she had intended to kill him with, he brought her to the hospital and saved her life.

This guy! He is totally down to perform oral sex 24/7 and will generously rush you to the emergency room after you try to kill him. And they say chivalry is dead!

But he is nobody’s fool: Sources reveal the man intends to sue his wife for attempted murder.

Submitted on 01/31/2013

Submitted by: tailless primate
Reference: Salon.com

Copyright © 2013 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Since it sounds like the man wasn't injured I'm more than happy accepting this extremely bizarre story. Thanks!


Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
i agree, a failed attempt making a very bizarre story. Thanks!


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