sure enough we turned on the lights and pulled the suspect vehicle over. The vehicle complied, unfortunately it was on a bridge that crosses a very deep valley over a river. While we were trying to get the obviously intoxicated driver to pull the vehicle ahead and off the bridge a woman in the back seat loudly announced that she had to urinate and hopped out of the vehicle. She made a mad dash across the other lane of traffic and began attempting to climb over the railing, presumably to do her business in the ditch. At this point I am assuming that the reader is pointing out that bridges don't have ditches, in which case you would be correct.

I sprinted across the road and by the time I had reached her she had already succeeded in getting one leg over the divider, still oblivious to the river 100 feet below. I grabbed her and dragged her back to the bridge deck where she hit the pavement and proceeded to wet herself. Standing up and screaming obscenities at me she then rewarded my life saving efforts by spitting in my face and kneeing me in the groin. I consider this to have been fair punishment for interrupting the process of natural selection.

Submitted on 12/01/2011

Submitted by: Tom
Reference: 12/1/2011

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
All in a day's work for our under-appreciated law enforcement community, eh, Tom??!! A highly amusing story, which I will keep as a PA (seeing as we rarely get these otherwise too common incidents from the policeman's point of view)! Of course, I presume SOMEONE was arrested that evening! And no, we won't hold you responsible for preventing natural selection! Thanks, Tom!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
What James said! And I LOVE this writeup!

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