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2011 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

TWO

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I have two brief submissions, both family relate. Technically they could only qualify for “Honorable Mention,” since nobody was killed or neutered in either case. (Thankfully neither was removed from the gene pool before I could be born…Is that a good thing or a bad thing?).

First Story: Three Strikes And You’re All Wet!

My Grandfather was a cattle rancher who regularly used his tractor or his pickup truck to herd his cattle. He also had some stock ponds, as is typically the case for most ranches in East Texas. During the Summer the water level goes down because of water consumption, evaporation, and soaking into the ground. Sometimes there is a rain that refill the pond. Well, not once, not twice, but thrice, right after a rain, my Grandfather chased that cattle over the bank with his truck or tractor, right over the steep bank, and straight into the now full pond. My Uncle always remembers this, somewhat bitterly, because he had to rebuild the vehicles after they were retrieved from the pond. Naturally now in modern times, the electronic computer systems would be fried and each vehicle would be totaled.

The Second Story. Lube Job!

My Dad had a tractor, and he used to grease it from time to time, to keep everything functioning correctly. One day, he noticed some nipples that he had not greased before. Sure enough, they took A LOT of grease, and he lubricated them generously with his grease gun. Later he drove the tractor off, only to discover that the breaks didn’t work too good, especially when going down hill! What a ride! Thankfully he was able to hold on until he got to the bottom of the hill, thus I was not eliminated from the gene pool.

Sincerely,

John David Feagin

Submitted on 09/24/2011

Submitted by: John David Feagin
Reference: A Long Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
He drove into the pond the same way three separate times? Does that man never learn? Thanks, John.


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
And the second one... if you don't know what it is, don't mess with it! Thanks, John!


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