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2011 Slush Pile

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Raymond Reverses Vasectomy?

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My fella, Raymond, was doing his yearly 'defuzzing' of his private parts. He usually uses a depilitory cream, but felt there was way too much hair and decided to trim it first with scissors. He'd had a few scotch & cokes. He asked me for my dress-making scissors. I begged him to use the small scissors. "No" he insisted "The big scissors". I repeated "You've been drinking. You are a clumsy klutz. The combination of alcohol, clumsiness and a big pairs of scissors on your nether regions is not good". He insisted - I said I would do the job. No, he insisted, he'd do it with the big scissors. I gave up. After all this is a mature (?) 50 year old man. I heard a bellow from the shower and raced to him. "Have you reversed your vasectomy?" I asked. "I think so" he whimpered. There, at his feet was a bird's nest of his pubic hairs and scattered blood spots. He'd snipped his scrotum. Luckily it looked more frightening than it was.

Submitted on 07/03/2011

Submitted by: Valya Tubecki
Reference: 2009

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks, Valya, but somehow I don't think he caused himself any lasting damage! Anyway, it was an amusing enough story, so I will keep it as a PA!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Came very close to it, tho! The part that gets me is that he *insisted* after being warned! Thanks, Valya!

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