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Darwin Awards
2010 Slush Pile

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The invention of paragliding.

2010 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My Father has lived a rather spectacular and varied life, many of his stories (often scarily backed up by eye witnesses)have resulted in many not only questioning his sanity but marvelling at the fact that he is now in his mid sixties with nothing more than grey hair, the body of a forty year old and the patience of a Toddler. My Father grew up in the Industrial town of Vereeninging in South Africa, With several other mischievious youths who later grew up to be Business and Industrial luminaries. The area is famous for the Vaal dam that was the local hang out for the local bored youths. One day whilst using a friends a motor boat to do some water Skiing. After a while the youths began to think of how to add an extra element of excitement to the sport. So apon gathering some wood constructed into the traditional kite design with the tarp cover that protected the motor boat. Then discussing hoe to fly the kite resulted in my father hanging on to the cross beams with him giving instructions to the driver by Nodding or shaking his head. The kite was fastened to the boat by a 50m length rope. After several attempts ending in failure to get air born and weights added, they agreed for the driver to just open the throttle full to give the kite the lift it needed to get air born with a passenger. This all went to plan with my father shooting up into the air, whilst dangling by his hands to the kite. At this point it all went downhill literally. When the rope hit its limit the kite started to over take the boat in the air. Causing the driver to panic and kill the motor with the kite soaring directly over the boat. The moment the rope lost its taughtness the kite turned into a vicious twirling nosedive. Unable to hold onto the bar of the kite my father was flung off the kite, landing merely 2 metres from the boat. The water from the height he fell was like hitting concrete, He suffered from wiplash, a pulled groin and almost drowned due being winded. Luckily he was life saved by friends who had been following in another motor boat. Although our Father has not managed as yet to kill himself off due to similar idiotic anicdotes, my mother does alude to this incident being the catalyst for the reason that we three are adopted.

I do not believe that this incident left him impotent, rather my mother realising that her nerves would not be able to handle little beings who think it is clever to try and fish for crocodiles (another true story).

Submitted on 11/26/2010

Submitted by: Lindy Jordan
Reference: Family members involvement

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Too bad there isn't any video of this. I'm sure it would have been entertaining. Thanks for the story, Lindy!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Your dad has some serious luck on his side...

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