About a week ago, I got this message from him:

(12:22:13 AM): OH SO GUESS WHAT (12:22:23 AM): I got circumcised last tuesday and it's badly infected now (12:22:31 AM): it's bleeding, its oozing puss, my uretha closed up (12:22:33 AM): i have a catheter (12:22:34 AM): LOL (12:33:23 AM): I can see inside my dick. the stitches came unraveled and you can see down inside it and thru it

When I asked him how he did it, he told me that he had wanted to masturbate, but due to fear of infection, decided that it would be safer to put a condom on. Not satisfied, he put three more on as well. So, with his quad-wrapped penis, he got down to work. After his dirty work, he pulled the rubbers off, and found that the stitches went with them. So, he tore it open.

Apparently not satisfied, or lacking anything resembling willpower, he decided to try again, with new stitches in this time.

So, he tied a rope around it and went at it. I would like to take a moment to request that anyone who can figure out why he thought this was a good idea please e-mail me, because I am living in a netherworld of curiosity about how he came to this conclusion.

Shortly afterward, with all these horrible medical issues working against him, he got to climax. So, apparently, did his blood pressure.

It burst. The stitches tore, his urethra closed up. At time of writing, this happened about an hour ago. In that time, he has gone to the ER and seen a urologist, both sources assure him that it won't work very well ever again.

So, there he goes. Taking himself out of the gene pool for all of us. Even better, he has cystic fibrosis, so that's another condition besides bad decisions that he won't be passing down.

Submitted on 07/12/2010

Submitted by: Dylan Richardson
Reference: Is about a friend of mine, is happening right now.

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'm practically speechless after reading this. What WAS this moron thinking? Thanks, Dylan!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account

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