SECOND TIME: It was the Fourth of July, so naturally he decided to make his own fireworks. He fashioned one out of a metal pipe with one end melted shut. He stuffed as much gunpowder as he could into the open end and lit the "firework". The explosion singed the right side of my house. He was taken to the hospital and was treated for second and third degree burns on his face, chest, and arms. THIRD TIME: He got some small tanks of gasoline from Lord-knows-where and left them on his front lawn, where he forgot about them. The tanks were left outside in the hot Florida sun for four days when one of them got overheated and combusted. Gasoline covered the driveway and lawn, and my neighbor decided that the best way to get rid of the gas would be to, that's right, burn it. He stood over in the grass and threw a lit match onto the gas-soaked driveway, but failed to remember that the grass was also covered in gasoline. He only suffered burns on his legs because, luckily, the remaining gas tanks had been removed from the yard.

NEARLY-SEVERED ARM: The time had come once again to get rid of some of the brush that had overgrown into my neighbor's backyard. Luckily, he had learned his lesson about burning the foliage, and instead decided to use a chainsaw. Unlike normal people with a chainsaw, he thought it best to hold the branches with his hand as he cut them. Everything was going smoothly for the first few minutes, until he became frustrated with a difficult branch and began using the chainsaw as an axe. He miscalculated one of his one-handed chainsaw-swings and got himself on the arm that was holding the branch. He returned home a few days later with twenty-seven stitches in his arm, hopeful that next time will be the stunt that finally kills him and makes him eligible for a Darwin Award.

Submitted on 07/01/2010

Submitted by: Sara
Reference: personal account, january 2009, july 2009, december 2009, may 2010

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
The fires & fireworks stories I consider to be too common. We get lots of stories that are similar to both. But using a chainsaw like an axe while holding onto a branch? That's a new one in my book! Thanks, Sara, and keep a close eye on this guy so he doesn't end up injuring you or anybody else!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
!!!

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