After several submissions involving what seemed sure winners, I finally recalled one from my Air Force days that really was an outright violation of safety rules and a good effort at a full award.

When I was in the 3rd AMS (Avionics Maintenance Squadron) in the 3rd Tactical Fighter Wing, we got in a depot level maintenance man who was highly skilled, very respected and had some stories that could kill you from laughter. Avionics, by the way, is a coined word from Aviation Electronics.

When this Staff Sgt from depot was working on rewiring a fried navigation system, something we would normally send TO depot, he shared an amazing story.

Naturally, since the engines on an aircraft generate the power and the F4 Phantom is a twin engine aircraft, the logical spot for such heavy gear is the center of the aircraft. After all, it sure handles a lot easier!

It seems the navigation guys got all the access space on top of the aircraft, so the electrics shop (spark chasers) got what was left over – access from the bottom of the aircraft. So, how does one get to doing heavy soldering work, with what actually IS a true soldering IRON? (The electronics version, called an iron is properly called a soldering PENCIL) One does this through an access panel on the bottom of the aircraft.

Well, our candidate violated 3 primary rules:

1) Work on such systems due to limited access is a 2 man job 2) If one uses a ladder rather than a stand, don’t stand above the 3rd rung from the top 3) See 2 … ALWAYS use a stand in this case, with the 2nd person’s job being to lower it fast and haul your azz out of there if need be.

The Staff Sgt from depot was working in the cockpit on an IFF (Identification Friend from Foe) and heard a curious series of sounds … a loud slam, like someone bumping their head, followed by a scream with profanity, slam like someone bumping their head and again a profane scream, repeatedly until the profanity and screams were much clearer … because the person using the heavy wattage iron had finally fallen out of the center bottom access!

What happened? A tragic series of events, only because this near miss probably survived and reproduced: Finding it hard to get to a copper buss to re-solder an electrical connection, he stood on his toes on the top of the ladder. Straining to reach the connection, he knocked the ladder out from under him.

Did I mention the tight space? Well, his second mistake was holding onto the iron though he probably grabbed it out of panic. The first bang, like one’s head hitting a bulkhead was just that. Of course in the process of gravity working this award winner back down to the tarmac, his face moved forward into the high-wattage iron. And inevitably to get away from the iron … you get the idea.

He was burned at least half a dozen times on his face by the iron and in the process of hitting bolts with the back of his head on the way down was quite a mess.

Our Staff Sgt managed to keep from laughing, respecting the man’s predicament but as a witness also had to fill in a report on this.

Now, this one should make the At Risk Survivor slush pile easily. This happened ca. 1973, stateside I believe at George AFB, CA.

Submitted on 03/01/2010

Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: Personal Account, George AFB '73

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll definitely vote PA on this one. Violating rules like that is a great way to end up in trouble. Thanks, Mike.

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Oh my goodness! He didn't think rules were there for a _reason_!?! Thanks, Mike!

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