Bub and I are great fans of zombie movies, and have passed many a late night in front of the T.V. with popcorn and DVDs. Ever since reading the 'Zombie Survival Guide' by Max Brooks, Bub is convinced that hordes of the undead will one day rise up. While trying to convince me of the impending apocalypse, Bub cited two facts that I found to be in error.

1) the human skull is one of the hardest surfaces in nature.
2) a medieval mace lacks the stopping power to crush a human skull.

We argued these points for half an hour, without coming to an agreement.

The next morning Bub texted me to come over and settle the issue. He answered the door wearing his cycle helmet and led me to his backyard, where he handed me a lump-hammer (a small sledge-hammer) and told me to hit him over the head. I don't know if the helmet would have stopped the hammer blow or not, and I wasn't about to try it on my friend. Instead I devised a simple experiment, hoping to avoid any nasty injuries.

Bub and I went to the supermarket to buy two coconuts, one for the experiment and one because I really like coconut. We returned to Bub's house and proceeded to place a coconut on the paving in his back yard. I picked up the lump-hammer and with one solid blow, reduced the coconut to delicious shrapnel. As I was clearing up the shards of nutty goodness, I said, "If that was your head, you'd be dead."

I turned to see Bub trying to validate my theory by headbutting the second coconut as hard as he could. Bub was fine after a few stitches, thankfully not a Darwin this time--but I'll keep you posted.

Incidentally, Bub was vindicated. He did manage to crack the nut. Since he proved that his skull is indeed harder than a coconut, my experiment was inconclusive.

Reader comment: The unbearable hardness of being.

I have a good friend of some years, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he's generally harmless. Except to himself. For the purposes of this story I shall call him 'bub' to protect his identity.

Bub and I are great fans of zombie movies and have passed many a late night infront of the t.v. with popcorn and many dvds, unfortunatley since reading book the 'zombie survival guide' by Max Brooks, Bub is adamant that the hordes of the undead will oneday rise up. it was while trying to convince me of the impending apocalypse that Bub read two facts that I found to be in error, 1)the human skull is one of the hardest surfaces in nature. and 2) a medieval mace lacks the stopping power to crush a human skull. We argued the point for about 30 minutes before I returned home and went to sleep.

The next morning bub sent a text asking me to go to his house to settle the issue. On arrival Bub answered the door wearing his cycle helmet and led me through to his back yard, where he handed me a lump-hammer and told me to hit him over the head with it. Now I don't know if the helmet would have stopped the hammerblow or not but I wasn't about to try it on my friend, so I devised a simple experiment to hopefully avoid any nasty injuries. Bub and I went to the local supermarket where I bought two coconuts, one for the experiment and one because I really like coconut. we returned to Bub's house and proceeded to place one of the coconuts on the paving in his back yard, I picked up the lump-hammer and with one solid blow reduced the coconut to delicious shrapnel, as I was clearing up the shards of nutty goodness I told Bub "if that was your head, you'd be dead" and turned to see Bub try to validate my theory by picking up the second coconut and headbutting it as hard as he could. Bub was fine after a trip to the A&E and a few stitches, thankfully not a darwin this time but considering that was the least of his dumb activities i'll keep you posted.

Incidentally he did manage to crack the other coconut.

Submitted on 01/19/2010

Submitted by: pete
Reference: june 2009

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I hate to say it, Pete, but Bub is probably still not convinced. I have a feeling it's just a matter of time before we hear about more antics of his. Thanks for sharing this!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
*laugh* Please please PLEASE keep us posted! Thanks!

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