Wendy says, "Accepted into the Archive. (military personal account, at-risk survivor, vehicle vignette.)"

Many years ago, when I was in the Marines, a bottom enlisted Marine and an NCO were required to stand a twenty-four hour watch. I showed up one evening for duty to find the NCO I was sharing the watch with, wincing, limping on both legs, and covered with dozens of fresh scabs all over his body and head. He was reluctant to tell me what caused his injuries but finally did until I promised to not tell anyone what happened. I had lived with that promise for thirty years until I heard of the Darwin Awards and learned that this man is a classic example of an at risk survivor.

This NCO, whom we'll call XY, had a friend NCO, whom we'll call Dutch. Both these guys would do just about anything for a laugh. Now, Dutch was also possessed of great upper body strength, having been a Greco-Roman wrestler in high school and currently a very active weight lifter.

At some point, XY and Dutch ended-up together in the squadron truck at the same time and came upon an idea to have a few laughs: XY would drive the truck and Dutch would ride shotgun. Dutch wound rest his arm outside the open window, holding onto the door, under his arm. When XY would make a left turn, Dutch would open the door and swing out with the centrifugal force of the turn, riding on the open door under his arm. Good fun, huh?

A few days before our duty night, XY and Dutch made a run together for whatever purpose and had a few laughs with their flying door routine, all well and good until one left turn brought the open door too close to a fire hydrant. The hydrant caught the door at the bottom outside corner and the door rebounded, slamming shut at better than thirty miles an hour. The force sent Dutch sailing across the vinal covered bench seat, slamming into XY with enough force to not only knock open the driver's door but also to eject XY from the vehicle. Dutch managed to recover the vehicle and prevent XY from being run over. Needless to say, both guys were in pain for several weeks and, needless to say, both spent many long hours in extra dutys.

Submitted on 01/12/2010

Submitted by: Carin Gleason
Reference:

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
It's been said by myself and my fellow moderators many times that bored soldiers are dangerous soldiers. Yet another classic example that proves the statement true. Thanks, Carin!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Two for two, eh, Carin! Yes, as a former Naval Officer, I can attest to the fact that NOTHING is more dangerous than Marines with little to do and a lot of time on their hands!! Thanks again!

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