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Darwin Awards
2010 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

i am lucky to be here

2010 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Wendy/Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

A Darwin man told yesterday how his left arm was amputated after being bitten nine times by a deadly snake. Gordon Lyons said he almost died after his heart stopped three times on the operating table at Royal Darwin Hospital. He spent seven weeks in a coma and was kept alive with a dialysis machine and ventilator after a king brown bit his left arm two months ago. Mr Lyons, who still has not regained movement in his legs, said doctors revived him three times on the operating table. He said, “I’m lucky to be here right now.” “But I still can’t believe my arm’s been chopped off just for one snake. I still have my life and I guess that’s the most important thing.” My Lyons said he was bitten by the snake, considered to be one of the most venomous, after he picked it up from the side of the road near Litchfield. Mr Lyons, who admitted he was drunk at the time, said he and a mate had been driving from Mandorah to Darwin when they saw it. He said, “I remembered the guys at the Mandorah pub wanted something to put in their fish tank.” “But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand because I was holding a beer in my right one. I had its head in my hand but it got loose and grabbed the web of my left hand. Its fangs were so big it ripped my hand open.” “I tore it off me and put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of the car.” “For some stupid reason, I stuck my hand back in the bag and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times.” Mr Lyons said he began vomiting and suffering diarrhoea “about three seconds later”. He said, “My mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me.” Mr Lyons said his last memory was passing out, covered in blood, at the Noonamah Hotel moments before being taken by ambulance to the Royal Darwin Hospital. RDH specialist physician Bart Currie said the venom had caused severe damage to Mr Lyons’ muscles, which led to his left arm turning black and becoming “dead”. Mr Currie said, “Of all the snake bites in Australia I’m aware of, this man is the sickest to have ever survived.”

Submitted on 01/03/2010

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Darwin Times November 2009

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
While doing dumb things is commonplace when one is drunk, I think this guy just set the bar at a new level of downright stupidity. He picked up a deadly snake with his left hand because he was holding a beer in his right hand? And then after getting bitten and tossing the snake into a bag he sticks his hand in the bag so the snake can chow down on him some more? Gadzooks this guy is an Idiot with a capital I! Thanks for sending this in.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
This gent must have solid bone between his ears, as snake venom usually shuts down the nervous system lickety-split-like! What I want to know is WHY did he put his hand back in the bag AFTER being bitten? I guess his arm is a relatively small price to pay. He's still alive, and he can still hold a beer...


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