While working as an Military Police soldier I recieved a call about a soldier who had injured himself while on extra duty. This particular soldier was already in trouble for being AWOL so his unit decided to demote him and give him extra work. One job he was charged to fulfill was to clean the latrines at the charge of quarters desk. After about 20 minutes in the latrine the CQ NCO decided to check on the troublesome soldier only to find him in the stall requesting emergency services. Upon arrival the EMT's notified me that in an attempt to get out of extra duty or for pleasure, the soldier had shoved a toilet bowl brush up his sphincter. Normally they said this wouldn't have been an emergency but the soldier had shoved the brush so far up inside of himself that his intestines were now wrapped around the brush portion. Once the soldier pulled his pants up to be escorted by the EMT's the only evidence of anything being lodged inside of him was by the very peculiar walk. The soldier didn't die or lose his ability to reproduce which is extremely unfortunate considering how much he was willing to go through to avoid appropriate punishment.

Submitted on 12/28/2009

Submitted by: Michael Rodrigues
Reference: Ft. Hood blotter

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Either it was a very small brush, or this fellow is going to suffer some SERIOUS hemorrhaging! Whatever the case, if this was in the Ft. Hood blotter, there must be some truth to it. I will keep it because it is so bizarre! Thanks, Michael!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Eww, eww, eww....

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