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2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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more coke machine fun

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Back when I was in the Army I came upon what would become an "At Risk Survivor". As we spent up to 10-11 months out in the field, on any given year, there was a great tendency for major alcholic abuse when back in garrison.

One night my friend, who had been drinking for several hours, decided he wantd a Coke, he also didn't want to pay for it. Since many of us knew that if you shake the machine just right,Voila...free Coke. Many of us warned him not to try it, I even offered to front him the quarter for the machine. He was insistant, he "Knew" what he was doing. So we left him to get his drink and went to go upstairs.

Several minutes later,a muffled scream came from our vending room. Three of us went over to the room to discover an arm pinned beneath an upturned Coke Machine, and our screaming friend trying to get out.We quickly determained that he was in no immediate danger. As luck would have it, the width of our vending room was about 6-7 feet across, the machine itself was over 6 feet. That being the case the machine wedged itself against both walls, with a small gap between it and the floor. After several minutes of laughter and gathering anyone we could find, we decided to librate my friend. In all it 6 of us to break the wedge,and 2 more,for a total of 8 to lift the machine off him. No worst for wear,he stumbled away to sleep it off. The next day he claimed to not remember what happen, but that was ok because at least 20 of us where there to remind him of his misadventure....

Submitted on 11/09/2009

Submitted by: Ryan Asato
Reference: 1988...Fort Ord , Ca

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll go with this for a PA. The image of him trapped under the wedged vending machine must have been classic. Did anybody think to take any pictures? Thanks, Ryan!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
So how long did the teasing take to stop? Judging from the price of the soda at the time, it might have taken a while! Thanks, Ryan!


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