Darwin says, "I like this one...."

This isn't a Darwin, but could have been. When I was in college 30+ years ago, our school installed nice new granite tables in the chem lab. Somehow a bet got started on who could scratch the tabletop first. The bet went uncollected for a couple of years: those granite surfaces were pretty sturdy. Then along came my friend, "Mass Destruction."

Armed with an explosive blasting cap and a ball peen hammer, he was determined to win that bet. Placing the cap on a table, he swung the hammer and hit it squarely. The hammer exited the lab at a high rate of speed over his shoulder. By some fluke, nobody was injured. Mass Destruction did win the bet--the granite was cracked through.

Here is the explanation of how his nickname came about. Earlier that year he had been doing an organic analysis when the Prof came by and casually asked where he was in the procedure.

"I'm nitrating the unknown."

"You didn't get a reaction at the last step?"

"Nope."

It turned out that the prof had added too much denaturing agent to the unknown (glycerin) so it was not identified at the proper stage. Mass Destruction was now casually stirring 250 ml of nitroglycerin on an ice bath! The Prof encouraged him to keep stirring--gently--while he evacuated the other students and called the bomb squad.

After the bomb squad had made all the needed arrangements to dispose of the nitroglycerin, they generously allowed Mass Destruction to push the button on the detonator.

This isn't a Darwin, but it could have been. When I was back in College, about 30+ years ago, our school had nice, new, granite lab tables installed in the chem lab. Somehow, a bet got started on who could scratch the table top first. The bet went uncollected for a couple of years: those tables were pretty sturdy.

Then along came my friend, whom we shall call "Mass Destruction," his nickname. He was determined to win the bet--so he took an explosive blasting cap and a ball peen hammer. Placing the cap on a lab table, he swung the hammer and hit it squarely.

The hammer exited the lab at a high rate of speed over his shoulder. By some fluke, nobody was injured. Mass Destruction did win the bet--the granite was definitely cracked through.

As another explanation of how his name came about, earlier that year he had been doing an organic analysis when the Prof came by and casually asked where he was in the procedure.

"I'm nitrating the unknown."

"You didn't get a reaction at the last step?"

"Nope."

It turned out that the prof had added too much denaturing agent to the Glycerin, so it was not identified at the proper stage. Mass Destruction was now casually stirring about 250 ml of Nitroglycerin on an ice bath. The Prof encouraged him to keep stirring--gently!--while he evacuated the other students and called the bomb squad.

When the squad arrived and had made all the needed arrangements to dispose of the Nitroglycerine, the allowed Mass Destruction to push the button on the detonator.

Submitted on 10/21/2009

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
While technically not responsible for the origin of his nickname (the prof was responsible for the mistake) I think this story is humorous enough for a PA. Thanks for sharing it with us!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Agreed! I hope his academic credentials matched his penchant for blowing things up!

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