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2009 Slush Pile

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Paint Can Golf

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Being of normal teenage brilliance, and astute in having plenty of misguided fun. My cousing and I on one of our many days of boredom in our youth were looking for something to do.

We sat in my house trying to think of something to do. When the idea to go out in the backyard was suggested. Without any hessitation we ventured out to see what we could get into.

On our way out we decided that we were going to use the golf clubs my Grandfather had given me to hit things around the yard. That seemed like it could be fun, and what kind of damage could we possibly cause with golf clubs...

We proceeded to hit golf balls, and when we ran out of those started hitting any random object we could get our hands on. Never mind the fact that this yard is no golf course as well as my house was not all to far from one of the main roads. We kept hitting anything and everything we could get our hands on. Clean out of my yard.

Which now leads me to the final object of the day...We ran out of things to hit. My cousing decided we should look for other stuff. Which brings me to the can of white spray paint.

In a brilliant moment, I came up with a can of spray paint. It was full, unused and now our new target to hit.

We hit that can all over the yard with the golfing woods for at least a half hour. Beating that can to kingdom come. It was dented, dinged compressed and crumpled to at least half of it's size.

My cousing decided he was done with hitting around. I on the other hand wanted to finish hitting around with sending out of the yard.

I put down the Wood, and decided on the "9 Iron"...If you don't know the difference between the two. The wood is more of a blunt golf club, and the iron has more of a sharp edge. Never mind the fact that the spray can was probably ready to burst already with all of the built up pressure. I decided to add a object into the equation.

My cousing didn't think it was such a good idea and mde sure he gave himself some distance from me and the spray can. In after thought he was very right, and though he was hitting the paint can around earlier prooved to be the smarter of the two of us.

With a get big grin and a whole lot of confidence I set the spray can standing as stright up as it could in it's very disfigured state. Took the stance with the glod club swung back. Braced myself for the impact of the can and club. Yelled "FOUR ! ! ! !" Swung the club...POOF ! ! ! I was engulfed in a big cloud of white paint.

I don't remember a bang or any kind of report from the can, but I do remember the cloud of white.

My cousing stood on the patio in shock. He thought I blew up with the can.

Aside from being covered from head to toe in white paint, and looking like a negative of Spiderman when I removed my glasses. I was not hit by any shrapnel from the can, and suffered no more than a real bad headache from all the paint fumes.

We never did come across any of the can, but at the same time we never played "Spray Paint Golf" anymore either. With a second try. One of us may have definitly caused serious damamge to ourselves.

We still get a good laugh when we think of that which is only one of our many brilliant ideas gone wrong that we survived. Some of us have to thank luck that our "Stupid Gene" hasn't gotten us killed or maimed yet.

Submitted on 05/28/2009

Submitted by: Drew
Reference: Personal Account 1991

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
You're darned lucky no shrapnel from the can hit you. Thanks for an amusing story Drew. The only thing that would make it better is if there was video to go along with this cartooney image!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree with Bruce. The "Negative Spiderman" image is hilarious!


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