Darwin Awards?

I'm midway reading one of the series of the very funny Darwin Awards books written by Wendy Northcutt. [ can be found at: http://darwinawards.com/ ] Some of the accounts related are incredible while others are totally unbelievable. It would be very tempting for a blogger to copy some of these stories directly to blog (or alter them slightly and claim them for oneself without infringing any copyright.) However, I don't stoop so low as I believe that that is a form of cheap cheating and I have no need 'cos I reckon I deserve a page or two in that book to myself.

I've already mentioned my venture into the world of lumberjacking with my documented account of falling from a goodly height I was a lumberjack but I'm OK... Saturday, March 14, 2009, but I have also had a few close calls at removing myself from the gene pool aka 'The Darwin Awards' on the building sites. Here's a couple that spring readily to my own feeble mind.

The first one I'm going to relate occurred when I was working on a site laying ceramic floor tiles in the ground floor kitchen of a house.

I had busied myself mixing, barrowing and laying the semi-dry cement screed over an area of the kitchen floor. The bay of cement, two inch deep screed, bisected the largish area down the middle of the kitchen from wall to wall and would be about six feet wide. This is usual as it allows work to be carried out from both sides of the bay as one is only having to stretch a maximum of three feet to lay the tiles. However, six feet is far too wide for anyone to get to the other side of the bay and other tradesmen working around me had to do that as well as me. So I thought I'd go look around for a piece of thickish plywood that I could lay on top of the semi-dry screed to take the tread of a workman and spread their weight on the soft cement so that access could be gained to the other side of my bay and subsequently to the rest of the house without damage. This method is in no way unusual.

I was only outside a few minutes before I spotted exactly the piece I required lying on the ground. It was a cut off sheet of inch thick blockboard measuring about three foot by three foot. After clearing the few building bricks off the top of it I bent down and lifted it up with both hands, walked a pace forward.... and fell down the bricked sewer inspection shaft that it was covering.

The shaft was only about four foot deep but I can assure you, a four foot freefall is like falling into an oblivion and is a damn sight TOO far. I suffered skinned knees, cut chin and a bruised ego as my foolish accident had been witnessed by more spectators than I would have cared for.

I was pulled out of the 'trap' by two the two brickies who had most likely built it, dusted myself off and carried on with my floor laying.

I'll maybe tell about the second incident in my next post.

Submitted on 03/29/2009

Submitted by: Anthony W. Allsop
Reference: white_charcoal

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Even at four feet you could have suffered serious or fatal injuries after that fall! Make a note: if there's a big board of _anything_ laying on the ground, look UNDER it before moving it! Thanks, Anthony!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Agreed. Unless you know why the plywood was there you should always check. Thanks, Anthony.

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