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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

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In your own way...again and again!

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I became a doctor because I had the father I had (also a doctor). He accidentally self-mutilated in almost every one of my school holidays.

My earliest memory was helping him and mum stitch his badly cut thumb with boiled button thread and a sewing needle; I remember being fascinated because he didn't need anaesthetic as he said he'd cut the nerve through...

He repeated the performance a year later swinging a garbage bag past his leg; a large broken bottle cut his leg wide open. He fixed that himself, too.

He got hit in the eye with a pulley on a boat but it shattered the glass from his spectacles into his eye. He was was lucky that time.

When I was eight I remember running to get the camera because dad had chopped down the pine tree in the back yard and somehow - I was there but I couldn't believe it - got himself pinned underneath it with only his head and legs visable.

And for his finale, (it gets worse and worse!)Dad's the only person I have ever heard of who has knocked himself out in the same way three times in one weekend... lifting his head too soon whilst walking under jetties.

Although he should have been dead long ago, he is now reasonably physically incapacitated from his exciting life and that has kept him out of harm's way for the last decade!

Submitted on 03/03/2009

Submitted by: davida kiernan
Reference: personal

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
That's quite a number of mishaps your father has gotten into. He's certainly lucky to still be walking this earth, especially after having a tree fall on top of him. I just can't comprehend somebody knocking themself out the same way three times in a weekend. Doesn't he ever learn?


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
LOL!!! Apparently your lucky enough to have your mom's genes dominant/non-Darwin! I like the running to get the camera bit. Thanks!


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