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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Corked

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a local urban legend that I've heard once or twice, and it's striking exposition of ignorance of basic phisiology has forced me, reluctantly, to submit it to the Darwin Awards. A college student, his brain addled by a beer or two, got into a contest to see how long he could 'hold it' and keep drinking beer. Desperate to win, he secretly inserted a large ball-bearing into his uretha despite the pain of doing so. He won, and was celebrated for the rest of the night. The next day, though, he awoke to a horrible pain in his nether regions. Realizing he had never removed the steel object from its precarious position, he attempted to do so then. Unfortunately, its own large size and the swelling it had caused made it impossible. Unwilling to embaress himself, he did not go to the hospital. He was found a week later, dead in his apartment of blood poisoning. There is a reason humans urinate, and that is to remove harmful toxins and waste-products from the body. When the student stopped the flow, he trapped the concentrated toxins within him and they slowly overwhelmed him.

Submitted on 02/04/2009

Submitted by: K.H.
Reference: Local Urban Legend

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
as an urban legend it may go, but i will send it to Darwin to decide

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Urban Legend
I've never heard this story before and couldn't find it in the archives, so I'll gladly accept it as an urban legend. Thanks!

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