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2009 Slush Pile

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Cowboy Dreams

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Yellowstone. The name conjures up images of serene wilderness, astonishing geothermal displays, and peaceful wildlife. It also brings to memory all the warnings you see of how not to feed, approach, or pet the animals. But, apparently, all of the signs, videos, and verbal reinforcement weren't enough for this Darwin Honorable Mention contender. I can't quite remember the year, though I do remember it was shortly after the Yellowstone Wolf Program was brought into the spotlight. My parents and I were enjoying an outing to Old Faithful, a hotspot for bison, when we noticed a rather alarming collection of police cars and an ambulance over by one of the resteraunts. Worried, and just a tiny bit curious, we went over to a policeman to ask what had happened. Caught somewhere between bemusement and disapprovement, this was the story he told us: A seasonal employee working at the resteraunt had decided he was tired of just watching the bison stroll so calmly past his workplace. Certainly their even tempers meant they were as good as tame, right? Possibly under the influence of a beer or two, he decided to live out many a child's dream. After setting out some food to attract the free-roaming beasts, he hid behind a dumpster and waited. It took about a half-hour, but a Bison was finally drawn in, most likely by curiosity than anything else. It was only then that the errant worker made his move. With the reflexes of a puma (Okay, maybe just the reflexes of a crazy guy), he leapt from his hiding spot and made a valiant effort to get astraddle of the enormous bull bison. Luckily for him, the bison bucked him off and made its escape, deciding not to stay around and maul its harasser. After being treated for minor scrapes and bruises, the dissatisfied worker was promptly fired and then arrested for harassing the wildlife. Lucky for him his cowboy dreams didn't become trampled nightmares.

Submitted on 01/31/2009

Submitted by: K.H.
Reference: Policeman at Yellowstone - I don't remember the date

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
An amusing enough tale to keep as a PA! I imagine there are better ways to break into rodeo riding! Thanks, KH!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Too bad you don't remember exactly when this happened. If we could find a newspaper reference, which I'm sure must exist somewhere, it would make for an excellent HM. Thanks nonetheless for a humorous story!

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