Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 January Slush
.firecracker
Torched Muzzleloader Explodes
Roping a Deer
UL:Oral sex with the wrong partner!
Exploding Croatian
Cowboy Dreams
If it looks and smells like alcohol
A Tricky Catch
People stay on Exploding Boat
Kamikaze mopedist with ladder
Snowboarder dies riding on street
Learning 2 Fly But I Aint Got Wings
How strong is that wind?
Guess the Helmet Didn't Work
The Science of Stupidity
Salmon fishing
Bungling Arsonist
Blown Tire [shop]
Thumb Staple...as a test
Flamethrower Wrestling
He did it like this
Gutter Ball
Wrestling Coaches.
Can't Stop Me Now
Copper thieves electrocuted
Air Force Pilot doesn't Equal Smart
land surveyor brainiac
Roadside sauce sickens 2
how to get out of apartment without
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Air Force Pilot doesn't Equal Smart

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

When I was stationed at Holloman Air Force Base, New Mexico in the now-defunct 479th Tactical Training Wing one of our training squadron commanders illustrated that being a lieutenant colonel doesn't necessarily mean you're an intelligent person.

Said Lt Col decided to give his wife some solvent to clean the toilet in their assigned base housing. Which she did use, to a sparkling effect.

Later that day the Lt Col decided he needed to contemplate the universe on said toilet, complete with a cigarette. At the conclusion of his meditations he decided to terminate his smoke by throwing the still lit butt between his legs into the bowl below.

The butt ignited the solvent fumes, and his butt, causing the commode to explode underneath him. His exploits where chronicled in the old Tactical Air Command safety magazine, TAC Attack, complete with an illustration of a gentleman in a flight suit with a toilet seat hung around his neck.

Around this same time, Lt Col Brilliant while cleaning his shower decided to mix bleach with the cleansing powder. The resulting chlorine gas emissions damaged his lungs enough to ground him from flight status for a couple of weeks.

Submitted on 01/26/2009

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: TAC Attack, mid 1980s

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Given that this guy got into trouble not once but twice by not understanding the consequences of playing with various chemicals I'll vote for a PA. Thanks for the story.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Urban Legend
This is an updated version of an urban legend. The addition of names is typical of modernizing certain ULs. Plus, the Mythbuster tested this on one of their first shows and proved that, under the stated circumstances, triggering an explosion is all but impossible. Sorry, and submit again!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Since this was apparently documented, I will buy it as a PA! Furthermore, the latter incident happens frequently enough, but one would not expect it from a commanding officer! Thanks!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend