Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 November Slush
(x)Really Hung
UL:Burning Down the Barn
HM:Bowling Bonehead
x:The incredible Oaxaco flying stove!
x:Evolution in Action
x:"Singin" in the rain?
HM:Only if you throw them...
(x)Man hit by train survives
x:How to cut a tree... with explosive
Copper Thief, meet Electric pole
HM:Chutes and Spills
x:Firefighter Lockout
Guam "Recycler" Recycled
HM:White spirit
DA:No Liger Menu, unfortunately
Hell Kitchen
DA:Killer Fuel Economy
Old Man River don't clean tires.
Blowtorch Cleaning
Student Pilots and Propellers
Almost Blown Away
The incredible (but true) Oaxaca fl
Don't fuel and smoke
Toter steckt im Gully
Pyromaniacs and Desks
Winter Paddleboating at Midnight
messing with live power line = bad
Windy Wire Thief Meets Tragic End
A Shocking end
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Old Man River don't clean tires.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Avoided a full Darwin, but perhaps an honorable mention? Woodinville man nearly drowns cleaning Humvee's tires in Columbia River

Associated Press

QUINCY -- Authorities in Grant County say a 48-year-old Woodinville man nearly drowned Thursday night after he deliberately drove his Humvee into the Columbia River near Quincy.

Undersheriff John Turley said Merle Sorenson told deputies he "was not thinking" and drove into the water at a boat launch to see how far the vehicle could go and still back out.

Turley says Sorenson -- who admitted drinking six beers -- also said he wanted to "clean his tires."

The Humvee went into the water about 11:30 p.m. Thursday. Four people escaped the floating vehicle, but Sorenson was trapped with only his head above water.

Rescuers attached a tow truck line and moved the vehicle far enough out of the water to save Sorenson before it sank farther.

Sorenson was treated at Quincy Valley Hospital for mild hypothermia and later released.

Submitted on 11/01/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Herald of Snohomish County November 1, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Cleaning your bloody tires in the COLUMBIA RIVER?!?!? No matter _how_ tanked you are, that requires some special lack of brains. Thanks!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
It sounds like the four passengers weren't hurt, and this guy was incredibly lucky his rescuers acted as quickly as he did. Remind me to NEVER accept a ride from this guy if I'm ever out in the Pacific northwest... Thanks!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend