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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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That's Using My Head

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

As a long-time reader of the Darwin Awards website and books, I'm surprised that I didn't submit this story sooner. It was late summer in 2001, and I was working on a home repair project. Specifically, the sliding glass door at the back of our house was badly stuck.

This situation had been getting worse for a while, and where I had previously been able to pull hard on the door handle to jerk it closed, I was having no luck today.

I pulled as hard as I could. I pulled down while pulling. I pulled up while pulling. Then I decided that I needed to get more leverage - I would pull with both hands, one on the inside door handle and one on the outside handle, straddling the door.

I still wasn't able to make this door budge even with both hands, pulling as hard as I could. I pulled up while pulling. I pulled down whi... and all of a sudden, the door came completely free. Since I was pulling with all my strength, it accelerated towards me quite quickly and unexpectedly. And of course, since I was straddling the door, my head was right in the way.

I ended up with two nasty bruises on the sides of my head (one where the door hit me, and one where my head was against the other side). Fortunately I was able to turn my head enough to avoid a "head-on" impact. In the end, I was grateful not to end up in the 2002 edition of the Darwin Awards.

Kevin in Concord, CA

Submitted on 10/14/2008

Submitted by: Kevin Moore
Reference: None - Personal Account

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I've had to deal with sticky sliding doors like that in the past but thankfully was able to get them working again without doing what you did. Thanks for demonstrating how NOT to do this, Kevin!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
LOL!! This is sure different from the "ran into the door" type submission! Thanks, Kevin! (And next time, just try a little WD-40.[tm]) :-)


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