A very nice family, the McGregors, had just moved next door. To protect us from the animals in their yard, (or was it vice-versa) they erected a metal fence between us. Now we can still visit by merely entering through the gate at the front of the yard. Since that would have been too sensible, we chose instead to swing over on the branch of the tree by the fence. Erold went first, slipped and fell astride the fence which cut into his leg inches from the Family Jewels. The wound went untreated (we couldn't tell Mom & Pops) so he still has the wide scar as a reminder.

A circus came to town. We were enthralled. I tried the trick on the swing where the acrobat lets go while standing, fell face down unto the rocks below our swing.

The Family moved to a more affluent neighborhood into a split level house in Forest Hills, overlooking our Capital City, Kingston. We made parachutes out of Jute fabrics and jumped off the roof of our house, 25 feet to the concrete driveway below. They didn't work. We tried Mom's large bedsheets. They didn't work either. Neither did Pop's big umbrella.

Circus came to town again. We perfected the tight-wire act on our mother's clothesline without injury (never fell even once). Got bored with it and so decided to try it on the barbed wire fence that separated us from a yard that sometimes had a very vicious horse grazing in it. Again, never fell even once. However a visiting friend Donald Forrester decided to try it. He was chicken. wouldn't do the fence so we all climbed onto the clothesline. He didn't even make two steps. Fell onto a rock below and bit clean through his lower lip.

American Family moved next door. Kid had a contraption called a wagon. We had never seen one in real life before. Only in Dennis the Menace comic books, on T.V. and in the movies. Their driveway had a steep enough slope and a right angle turn to the garage -concrete walls. If you miss the turn, you fly off the driveway onto rocks five feet below. After several successful trips in this wagon (not falling off or colliding into the reinforced concrete wall) we became bored again and did future rides facing backwards.

Why we survived to become adults is a mystery to me. Fortunately, our offspring have not shown any signs that they have inherited any of those genes, but I am worried about our future Grandchildren.

Submitted on 09/11/2008

Submitted by: Dennis M. Gilman
Reference: None. Didn't tell Mom & Dad until we grew up

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
How did you guys survive childhood!?! Thanks, Dennis!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Are you sure your children haven't pulled any of these stunts? It sounds like you did a decent job of hiding them from your own parents! Thanks, Dennis!

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