So there goes Mr. Brilliant, storming off in a fit of rage from an arguement he just had at a friends house (now, he could be possibly influenced by some...method of influence). Anyway, he has made the decision that the other person in this arguement was absolutely WRONG. So, to solve this little spat, Mr. Brilliant decides that the only way that he can prove to the other guy that he is right, is to burn the other guy's house down!

So...

Mr. Brilliant makes a bomb. Possibly a molatov cocktail, or something similar (and possibly using a freshly emptied bottle). Then, he then takes this device and sets off in his car, back towards the house of ill-dispute, with the intention of burning his enemy's castle to the ground. All so that he can prove his point, and that he IS right.

Now, as Mr. Brilliant drives his car down the victims street, with weapon in hand and ready to ignite, he spots his target. Then with the flick of a lighter, and a twist of the wrist, Mr. Brilliant hurles this flaming object towards his enemy's castle, from inside of his moving car, only to have the trajectory of his flaming revenge device so rudely interrupted by the solid vehicle surrounding him.

Since the vehicle around him was the immovable object at the time of his "score-settling" act, this is what is believed to have cause the bottle to break apart (since the bottle was not the unstoppable force). This resulted in our hero's home-made "I am right!" device to expell it's entire contents within inside of the vehicle in a beautiful flaming flash of arguement-winning glory!

Obviously, Mr. Brilliant had some difficulty controling his vehicle with all of this "professional pyrotechnic" action going on inside, while rolling down the street. This is believed to be the reason why the vehicle suddenly left the road to only find another immovable object, one which had forced the vehicle's tires to suddenly face towards the sky, while the rest of the vehicle displayed itself as a bright beacon of pyrotechnic power.

They say he was thrown out of the vehicle upon impact, which would not surpirse me since I would believe that his concentration was focused on completeing his task, and ignored anything that had to do with safety, including to forget to put on fire-retardant clothes for this mission.

Needless to say (pun intended), that he was really burned up about the whole arguement situation, and he got really fired up to make his point.

So here it is, in print. I could not make this one up....but I'm glad he did...

Sacramento Bee 8/28/08:

"A man today is recovering from burns and could face criminal charges after police say his botched attempt to fire bomb a Woodland home instead set him and his vehicle ablaze.

Woodland police say witnesses on Wednesday reported seeing a man try to throw a fire bomb from his car at a house on the 1300 block of East Oak Street. During the attempt, the bomb broke inside the man's vehicle, causing the vehicle to erupt into flames and crash, a Woodland police news release states.

Police responded to reports of a single-vehicle accident at 8 p.m. near East Oak and Thomas streets and found the car upside down and burning.

The driver, who identified himself as Eddie Valencia, 30, was severely burned and had been thrown from the vehicle. Police have not yet confirmed his identity.

The man was taken to a local hospital for treatment.

Police Sgt. Dan Letamendi said it appears the alleged attempted fire bomb attack is tied to a fight earlier Wednesday night at the house.

The man could face criminal charges, including possession of a destructive device with intent to injure or intimidate and igniting a destructive device causing injury or aggravated assault, both felonies, Letamendi said."

http://www.sacbee.com/749/story/1192789.html

...and I would die laughing (but not surprised) if this guy's window was rolled up!

All I can say to him is....YOU'RE FIRED!!!

Submitted on 08/28/2008

Submitted by: Brian (I see dumb people)
Reference: Sacramento Bee, 8/28/08 - http://www.sacbee.com/749/story/1192789.html

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I'm torn. We have several examples of this sort of thing in the archives. On the other hand, it is really really stupid. Thanks, Brian!

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I don't recall any other stories of dolts failing to throw molotov cocktails out of their moving car, so I'll gladly vote for this one. Thanks, Brian, especially for the humorous writeup!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom Keep yourself out of the gene pool! A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $13 for Pack of 4