Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 August Slush
HM:Bench Press
HM:A Clear Lesson
DIY Chainsaw
?:Firebomb Failure
man eaten by crocodile
Death by compactor
HM:Riders on the Storm
.Dis-arm
Sewage plant fall
Self-bris near-miss
Too smart to ba a Carney
Copper thief melted to pole
TS Fay Slams Kite Surfer
The Hurricane Between The Ears
A new kind of hurt
Survival of the Luckiest
Man found dead head firstin sewer
Running With Knives
Python Kills Intern
Smoking in bedrooms is bad enough
Does Stupid Hurt?
Crocodile eats man who sought its b
NO:Smarter than a 5th Grader?
Dancing in the roof with energy
Vacuming and gasoline explosive!
Attempted Suicide by Cat
When Stealing, Remember: Safety Fir
Don't Drill In The Rain
A Night On the Road
Don't eat nachos on a motorcyle
Homemade bazooka
Hospital Drunks
Bust a nut
Prairie City man injured in Des Moi
Youth dies after train roof bet
The line got him
bottle rockets
Burned On A Utility Pole
Aborted Campout
Robber shot to death by victim
Man Refuses smoke detectors - dies
Man Dies After Falling on Butcher K
Looking for "pleasure" in a hole
"Bricklayer" legend's an old song
Man trying to steal copper wires ge
Dallas copper thief is done
Orca Avenger
Dallas copper thief is done
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

A Night On the Road

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

One day, an 18 year-old boy decides to take his life into his own hands, living the life on the edge...

He believes that he could take his bike and a backpack full of provisions to Oklahoma city all the way from Nevada, riding on the shoulder of the highway.

Well, the day was blisteringly hot. He, taking the environment into mind, decides to wait and travel at night, under the light of the moon and stars.

Unbeknownst to him, the upcoming section of road had no gaurdrails in certain areas of the hills it was on. He starts off on his journey again, fully refreshed from his rest under a shade tree. There was only one problem though... there was no moon...

The unfortunate boy continues to ride his bike, when an oncoming car blinds him. No where to go except away from the car and it's painfully bright headlights, he swerves towards the edge, forgetting all about the edge of the highway.

Nothing to keep him from the forty-foot drop, he loses traction, and he and his bike fall foarty feet into the river below...

Now, there being running water, the impact was softer, and thus not fatal. He also lands in a deeper section of the river.

He struggles to get to the river bank, and manages to grab onto a tree root protuding from the dirt, climbs onto the dry land, and passes out from fatigue...

Now, although he did not not die from impact or hypothermia (the nights are cold in the desert, and he was wet), the car that had blinded him reported the accident, and the police arrived momentarily, gathering him into the car, and taking him into temporary custody.

Now, how do I know all these details, you ask? I'm the boy. I'm still 18, and I'm never touching a bike again...

Submitted on 08/13/2008

Submitted by: Clint
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks, Clint. I'm glad you survived to share this tale with us! Since it sounds like you hopefully learned a valuable lesson we likely won't ever be nominating you for a full DA.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Damn! GREAT punch line at the end! A keeper! I'm glad you're staying clear of bikes. Hopefully this is the last we'll ever hear of you here at DA...except perhaps as a CONTRIBUTOR! :-) T^hanks again, Clint!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend