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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Stickboy

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

It was high school and a couple of our friends were doing dumb stunts on a video camera. We were in our friends front year and someone did a front flip into some high bushes in front of the house. My good friend, for the sake of this story lets call him T, decided to follow suit. He got a running start and did 3/4 of a front flip, landing on his back but the bushes cushioned his fall. He let out a blood curdling shreek, jumped up, and ran inside. As he was going in, we noticed a Silver dollar sized rip in the ass of his pants. We wait outside speculating about the outcome for close to twenty minutes before he comes out, obviously not looking good. We ask if he wants to go to the hospitol, he declines and just wants to go home. I got a call from his father the next day saying that a stick had gone up his ass and punctured his rectum. He was out of school for a while and he he got back he had to have a colostomy bag for a while.

A couple months later he lit himself on fire with a molotiv cocktail, for which I was also present. We had done a bit of drinking and had a bunch of empty bottles. For some kicks, we go to the gas station and fill up a container with gas. We go to a vacant office building parking lot to have our fun. None of us had ever made one before so we didn't really know what we were doing. we filled a bottle 3/4 full of gas, ripped up a t-shirt and stuffed it in the top of the bottle as a wick, no wax. for those of you who don't know wax should be used so the gas doesn't leak back into the bottle. My first friend throws it almost sidearm, making sure the wick stays facing up. There was a big explosion and we all laugh. T throws next. We set up a cocktail for him but he wants to throw it further. He throws it light a football, putting the lit wick near his shoulder. He throws is, but something is wrong, I look over and he is on fire. He runs around for a while screaming as if he is going to die. I run over to my car to get a blanket as others are yelling stop drop and roll. As he stop drop and rolls, he breaks his foot falling. He extinguishes all of the flames. He suffered a broked foot and second degree burns on his side and back.

I can vouch for every single word written in this. If you attempt to contact T, know that you must not mention me, but I doubt he will deny these events. The only reason I say doubt, is because these are obviously rather embarrassing and he is trying to forget they ever happened.

Submitted on 07/24/2008

Submitted by: Tyler Straub
Reference: February 2002

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Sounds like T is one of those guys who will never learn. Thanks for the humorous stories.

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Umm...where was T when common sense was being passed out? Thanks, Tyler!

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