Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 July Slush
DA:Stop the train! My car!
SCI:Wite-Out Drunk
Priest + ballons found
Man's Worst Friend
Trucker killed by falling pipe
Saw it coming
Good and Gone
Two fires, one year
"Sp-Arkansas"
Electric deja vu
Stupid Window Cleaner
Incoming
Back seat lovers survive cliff plun
A place not to tie shoestrings
Digging a tunnel under the dunes
Sink or Swim
Balcony Leap
Sit, don't stand
Stickboy
Man torn apart by zoo bears
Gas Siphoning goes terribly wrong
No chicken
personal account
Women embarrassed after rescue
Faulkner County man killed in accid
look down!
Trying to Jump The Gap
Wrong outfit for canoeing
2 Men On Double Decker Bus
Electric shock "cooks" raider
Brillant!!
RVs in Prunetown
The Microtome
Man Suffers Burns In Gas Tank Explo
Safety first
.Don't hold your breath...
Inner tube blues
11,000 volt fatal shock for Leeds c
Surfing a Tsunami
Drain inspector
Cooked Crook
No helmet, no brain
R.I.P. BMW
Youth Killed as Club's Shaft Pierce
Final descent, update
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules – Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

The Microtome

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a story my former Zoology Professor used to tell his students back in the days when they were still using the old, mechanical microtomes. Now, they use modern cryotomes, so these things are obsolete, but for teaching purposes, they are sometimes still in use.

Those microtomes are basically a sled on which a heavy, axe-shaped blade is mounted that can be protracted and retracted by a lever, cutting an resin-imbedded specimen into slices thin enough to be used in microscopy. To ensure that the blades stay keen, they are kept in velvet-lined cases. So, when it was time for the students to be taught to operate those things, they were told to take great care, that the blades are super-super keen (and heavy!), and that re-sharpening them requires an expert who would charce 100 Deutsche Mark, which was quite the treasure back in the days.

One of the students happened to remember this latter fact when he -though ordered not to dismount the blade after use himself- for whatever reason dropped one. Unfortunately, he forgot about the former, the super-super keen, and tried to catch it with his bare hands. Luckily for him, the blade got stuck in his metacarpal bones and did not severe the hand or fingers completely, yet still causing a very bloody mess. Had it cut more towards the wrist, it would have very likely caused a life-threatening injury.

Maybe this is just one of the mythic cautionary tales (You'd poke someone's eyes out!), but the Professor in question is a kind of no-nonsense man, so I think it is safe to assume the story happened as told.

((Sorry for the clunky english, I'm a second-language speaker))

Submitted on 07/18/2008

Submitted by: Brigitte
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
While his grabbing for the blade may have been reflexive he certainly should have known better than to even get to that point by simply listening to the professor. Thanks, Brigitte!

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
"Don't do this." The Prof don't know nuthin'- OUCH!!! Yup, that's a great PA! Even if it's a type of UL, I still like it. Thanks, Brigitte! And I think you speak/write very well.

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend