Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 July Slush
DA:Stop the train! My car!
SCI:Wite-Out Drunk
Priest + ballons found
Man's Worst Friend
Trucker killed by falling pipe
Saw it coming
Good and Gone
Two fires, one year
"Sp-Arkansas"
Electric deja vu
Stupid Window Cleaner
Incoming
Back seat lovers survive cliff plun
A place not to tie shoestrings
Digging a tunnel under the dunes
Sink or Swim
Balcony Leap
Sit, don't stand
Stickboy
Man torn apart by zoo bears
Gas Siphoning goes terribly wrong
No chicken
personal account
Women embarrassed after rescue
Faulkner County man killed in accid
look down!
Trying to Jump The Gap
Wrong outfit for canoeing
2 Men On Double Decker Bus
Electric shock "cooks" raider
Brillant!!
RVs in Prunetown
The Microtome
Man Suffers Burns In Gas Tank Explo
Safety first
.Don't hold your breath...
Inner tube blues
11,000 volt fatal shock for Leeds c
Surfing a Tsunami
Drain inspector
Cooked Crook
No helmet, no brain
R.I.P. BMW
Youth Killed as Club's Shaft Pierce
Final descent, update
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules – Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Man's Worst Friend

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Normally, my girlfriend doesn't share her ER stories after a shift, which is perfectly understandable; but earlier this week she had that look in her eye..."Just ask me what happened last night." A man, late thirties, came in bent over with a terrible look of distress and a bloody towel down low. He said he had been playing with his dog, and things got out of hand. The dog bit his penis. At first, he claimed he had his pants on, but it didn't take long for my girlfriend, who's pretty much seen it all, to get to the truth. Early in the morning, "John" was attempting to entice "Fido" with various foodstuffs to entertain his "staff." For one reason or another, either overly hungry or overly upset, Fido clamped down on John's Johnson. And then things got worse. Much worse, and rapidly. "Degloving" is the medical term used to describe the tearing of the skin from an extremity, USUALLY a finger or toe. But in this case, it was the entire skin of John's penis that was ripped off. By his beloved Fido. Being a guy, I cringed at the thought of what I'd just heard....but I had to know....What about the skin? Did he save the skin? Tell me he saved the skin.

Nope, the dog swallowed it. Slurp. As we all know (guys at least), the skin of the penis is unique, and substitution from other parts of the body, i.e., grafting, to do what the penis does, just doesn't "cut it." This guy has effectively been fetched out of the gene pool.

Submitted on 07/15/2008

Submitted by: Curtis Miller
Reference: ER Doctor/Friend/verifiable

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I've heard the occasional story of people trying to entice their pets to perform such services but I've never heard such an end result from the emergency room. Thanks, Curtis.

Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
You know, this WAS just an urban legend as far as I knew -I CAN NOT believe someone was dumb enough to actually TRY THIS! The world doesn't need this dimwit's genes. And I thought the LPN who taught my Health Unit Coordinator class had some wonkers! Thanks, Curtis!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend