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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Stupid Window Cleaner

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

A 28 year old man who drinks in the Albany Pub in Coventry and is renowned for his tall tales of past experiences and prowess in any area of expertise you may mention, not least with members of the opposite sex, decided to show the local window cleaner the correct and proper way to clean windows (by his own admission he has been a sheep farmer in Australia, a diver on the North Sea oil rigs, a motorcyle speed racer, owned a pub worth £500,000, been in the armed forces, cage fighter, in prison for murder, long distance truck driver and is a member of the Hells Angels to mention a few of the extensive list of achievements but now works for the local council digging holes!). The task commenced after a number of strong ales and the continued admiration of a couple of the local 'ladies' together with his boasts of "I have to show this prat how it's done properly". It all started well as he quite proficiently dealt with the downstairs windows much to the joy of the ladies in the gathering audience. This had been enhanced significantly as his top was now removed to give them an even bigger thrill as he worked in the afternoon sun. The window cleaner sat back and silently watched the novices work until he decided to tackle the upstairs. The expert blowhard put the ladder against the wall but dismissed the protestations of the window cleaner. He had put the extension ladder upside down therefore when reaching the top it was inevitable that it should collapse and it did. Our hero first hit his jaw on the window sill breaking it in 2 places and losing his well maintained teeth on the way down. His fall to the ground was abruptly halted by the ornate Victorian railings which impalled him by the left arm (although the article stated that it was his right arm). When the medics arrived he had removed himself from the railings in a state of confusion and shock but was of a sufficient coherent frame of mind to ask were his teeth where. Regrettably this has not detered the tall tales as he now sits in the public house and recalls the story, slightly embelishing the events, with his shattered jaw, broken teeth and bones but not including the important part played by the ladder. The report from the Coventry Telegraph is included below:

Man falls from ladder onto metal railings Jun 11 2008 By Jenny Waddington

A MAN fell from a ladder and landing on metal railings in Coventry.

Ambulance crews were called to the Albany Pub, in Albany Road, Earlsdon, yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon where a 28-year-old man had become impaled on railings and injured his arm and face.

West Midlands Ambulance Service and an incident support officer were called to the scene at around 3pm and the man was taken to Coventry's University Hospital.

A spokesman for the ambulance service said: "When crews arrived the man was no longer on the railings.

"However, a 28-year-old man was at the scene with a very serious injury to his right arm. He had also suffered a puncture wound to his chin and injuries to his mouth.

"He was conscious throughout.

"The man was treated at the scene before being taken on blue lights to University Hospital Coventry and Warwickshire where medics were on standby for his arrival."

http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/2008/06/11/man-falls-from-ladder-onto-metal-railings-92746-21055784/

Submitted on 07/01/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Coventry Telegraph June 11 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Well on top of being an oil rig diver, motorcycle racer, Hells Angel, etc. this guy can now add Darwin Award nominee to his list of prodigious achievements. Thanks for sending this in!

Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Well he won't be able to brag about this achievement at the pub!. Thanks for the submission!

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