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2008 May Slush
Use the door stupid.
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Revenge of the Trees

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Thanks for the submission, it surely does sound like Joe is swimming with both oars out of the water. Your story reminds me of 'Into the Abyss' -- a lumberman wanted to winch a tree up an embankment with his tire rim."
My family and I were on a road trip, traveling throughout beautiful mountains. We came upon a famous Red Grove forrest, and my stepfather "Joe", stumbled upon a log that we just HAD to have. Taking Red Grove logs isn't allowed, but he packed it into the car anyway, and drove off. The next day, we went down a long, dirt road. There, we encountered a tree in our path. Instead of turning around and heading back the way we came, my stepfather decided to move the tree. The tree happened to be attatched to it's trunk by mere splinters, and did I mention that we were on an embankment, some 40 feet above the base of the tree trunk? My stepsister and I warned Joe about the splintered off trunk, but he brushed the warning asside. He turned the car arround, backed it up to tree, and tied a rope from the bumper of the car to a sturdy branch on the tree. His idea was to have our mother pull the tree out of the way, while he and the rest of the family pushed the tree from behind. Well, the plan ALMOST worked. We got the tree moving, until physics(?) came in. Me and the rest of the family let go of the tree once it stopped moving, but Joe hung on and kept pushing. The splintered part of the tree fell off the trunk, and dropped 40 feet down. Yep, you guessed it, Joe kept holding on, until he was lifted about 7 feet off the ground. He flipped over the tree, and fell to the ground. Impact to the ground left him with a broken collar bone/shoulder. He couldn't move his left arm for 2 months.

Can tree's REALLY institute their own form of justice when need be?

Submitted on 05/08/2008

Submitted by: Andy R. R
Reference: Personal Account, 2007, somewhere in Montana

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
No, Andy, trees cannot administer justice, but block headed stepfathers can certainly administer self-inflicted pain with generous assistance from their own stupidity! An amusing PA! Thanks!


Candi said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Life isn't fair, and it can sure pack a wallop! Thanks, Andy!


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