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2008 April Slush
Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
Priest Visits boss
Off to heaven
More details on the missing priest
Sky Pilot Priest Balloon Bye Bye
Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
(DA)Intravenous Birdseed Man
(?)Pedestrian Killed on Barlow Trail
Off to Heaven
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(?)Four Wheel Drive
DA:DIY Pensioner Meets Shocking End
On The Road Again
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Look Before You Leak
ice diving instructor misses hole
HM:Battered Sausage
He wasn´t the Hulk...
Bonfire Night
Crank it up a little Virgil
DA:A Screw Loose...
(?)cutting up gas tank
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A "Hot" Idea.
Guns are not effective bee killers
In over his head...
Crushed crooks
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Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
Snakeskin Bracelet
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
blasted dog
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
toasted Grenade
No balls No brains
battered and bruised member
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Irish Bomb Expert
Police: Man dies in freak accident
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Drunken Construction Worker Death
Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
Electrocuted stealing live wires
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
Train hits man peeing on track
no through road my ass
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Teens, Bonfire and Gas
Banned for Life
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
man falls into mt st helens
A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Now promoted to higher position
Thief burnt to death
Man killed by 11,000 volts
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
Racine man dies while climbing at w
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Man drowned after jumping into lake
Earth Day Gone Wrong
Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
heat sink fire
virginal birth - NOT
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The Eye and the Testicles
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

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no through road my ass

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

When I was 16 I used to ride around on a old honda 2 stroke trail bike in the paddok at our house. one day I thought it a good idea to take the bike for a spin down a fire track right near our house. Unfortunately I ignored the "No Through Road" sign at the biginning, and figured that I knew the road well enough to spot the barrier in time, I had after all lived there all my life, and was not stranger to to track. I didn't see the barrier in time... it was a solid perma-pine log suspended on chains across the track, so fire trucks could just unhook it and get through, but it had a lock, so cars couldn't use the track. slamming on the brakes and skidding until inevitably hitting the log at speed, it swung on the chains, hit me in the jaw guard of the helmet, crushed the jaw guard and caused significant trouble to my head. I came too in a puddle of blood, sat on the log which previously clotheslined me off my bike, took off my helmet, and realised, I too was covered in blood. I collected my-self and began the 20 minute walk home, still dazed and disorientated, spitting out more blood every few seconds. I got home, scared the shit out of my mum, and got taken straight to emergency, where I was kept awake as to not go into a coma, and was later informed (after ex-rays, cat scans, and a bit of prodding and pulling) that I had broken my jaw on both sides and straight through my chin, split my palate, cracked both ceek bones and eye sockets, crushed my nose, and caused a hairline fracture between my nasil cavity and brain, making a whole section of my face mobile.

I had extensive surgey, and thanks to a team of cranial facial surgeons, plastic surgeons, neuro surgeons and the installation of 8 metal plates in my face, I have now made a full recovery. I guess the lesson here is to a) not own a motorbike, or b) always do a dummy run. either of these things would have saved me alot of pain. but hey, hind-sight is always 20-20

Submitted on 04/28/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Owning a motorbike isn't necessarily a bad thing, but owning one and not treating it and your surroundings with respect certainly is. I'm glad to hear you survived your run-in with that barrier, and thanks for sharing the story with us!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Do they call you George of the Jungle now? "Watch out for that tree"... or log. Thanks for the story.


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