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2008 April Slush
DA:Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
DA:Priest Visits boss
DA:Off to heaven
DA:More details on the missing priest
DA:Sky Pilot Priest Balloon Bye Bye
Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
Bonfire Night
HM:Battered Sausage
On The Road Again
(?)Four Wheel Drive
DA:Look Before You Leak
ice diving instructor misses hole
DA:DIY Pensioner Meets Shocking End
(DA)Intravenous Birdseed Man
Crushed crooks
Vibrator, blender and bathtube
Mr
(?)Pedestrian Killed on Barlow Trail
DA:A Screw Loose...
(?)cutting up gas tank
Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
Crank it up a little Virgil
He wasn´t the Hulk...
No balls No brains
Huntingdon Man Shoots Himself in L
battered and bruised member
A "Hot" Idea.
Guns are not effective bee killers
Boys Will Be Boys
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
In over his head...
Drunken Idiot Falls from moving SUV
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
Irish Bomb Expert
toasted Grenade
Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
Snakeskin Bracelet
Electrocuted stealing live wires
Man accidentally shoots self in che
DA:Off to Heaven
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
blasted dog
no through road my ass
Train hits man peeing on track
Police: Man dies in freak accident
Teens, Bonfire and Gas
Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
Banned for Life
A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Now promoted to higher position
Drunken Construction Worker Death
Thief burnt to death
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Man killed by 11,000 volts
man falls into mt st helens
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
Racine man dies while climbing at w
Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Earth Day Gone Wrong
Man drowned after jumping into lake
Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
heat sink fire
virginal birth - NOT
Shock Therapy for Thief
The Eye and the Testicles
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

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no through road my ass

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

When I was 16 I used to ride around on a old honda 2 stroke trail bike in the paddok at our house. one day I thought it a good idea to take the bike for a spin down a fire track right near our house. Unfortunately I ignored the "No Through Road" sign at the biginning, and figured that I knew the road well enough to spot the barrier in time, I had after all lived there all my life, and was not stranger to to track. I didn't see the barrier in time... it was a solid perma-pine log suspended on chains across the track, so fire trucks could just unhook it and get through, but it had a lock, so cars couldn't use the track. slamming on the brakes and skidding until inevitably hitting the log at speed, it swung on the chains, hit me in the jaw guard of the helmet, crushed the jaw guard and caused significant trouble to my head. I came too in a puddle of blood, sat on the log which previously clotheslined me off my bike, took off my helmet, and realised, I too was covered in blood. I collected my-self and began the 20 minute walk home, still dazed and disorientated, spitting out more blood every few seconds. I got home, scared the shit out of my mum, and got taken straight to emergency, where I was kept awake as to not go into a coma, and was later informed (after ex-rays, cat scans, and a bit of prodding and pulling) that I had broken my jaw on both sides and straight through my chin, split my palate, cracked both ceek bones and eye sockets, crushed my nose, and caused a hairline fracture between my nasil cavity and brain, making a whole section of my face mobile.

I had extensive surgey, and thanks to a team of cranial facial surgeons, plastic surgeons, neuro surgeons and the installation of 8 metal plates in my face, I have now made a full recovery. I guess the lesson here is to a) not own a motorbike, or b) always do a dummy run. either of these things would have saved me alot of pain. but hey, hind-sight is always 20-20

Submitted on 04/28/2008

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Owning a motorbike isn't necessarily a bad thing, but owning one and not treating it and your surroundings with respect certainly is. I'm glad to hear you survived your run-in with that barrier, and thanks for sharing the story with us!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Do they call you George of the Jungle now? "Watch out for that tree"... or log. Thanks for the story.


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