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2008 April Slush
DA:Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
DA:Priest Visits boss
DA:Off to heaven
DA:More details on the missing priest
DA:Sky Pilot Priest Balloon Bye Bye
Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
Bonfire Night
HM:Battered Sausage
On The Road Again
(?)Four Wheel Drive
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ice diving instructor misses hole
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(DA)Intravenous Birdseed Man
Crushed crooks
Vibrator, blender and bathtube
Mr
(?)Pedestrian Killed on Barlow Trail
DA:A Screw Loose...
(?)cutting up gas tank
Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
Crank it up a little Virgil
He wasn´t the Hulk...
No balls No brains
Huntingdon Man Shoots Himself in L
battered and bruised member
A "Hot" Idea.
Guns are not effective bee killers
Boys Will Be Boys
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
In over his head...
Drunken Idiot Falls from moving SUV
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
Irish Bomb Expert
toasted Grenade
Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
Snakeskin Bracelet
Electrocuted stealing live wires
Man accidentally shoots self in che
DA:Off to Heaven
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
blasted dog
no through road my ass
Train hits man peeing on track
Police: Man dies in freak accident
Teens, Bonfire and Gas
Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
Banned for Life
A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Now promoted to higher position
Drunken Construction Worker Death
Thief burnt to death
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Man killed by 11,000 volts
man falls into mt st helens
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
Racine man dies while climbing at w
Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Earth Day Gone Wrong
Man drowned after jumping into lake
Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
heat sink fire
virginal birth - NOT
Shock Therapy for Thief
The Eye and the Testicles
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Mr

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I relocate snakes in a small beachside tropical Nth Q'ld village. One Sunday morning a guy phoned to say he had a huge python behind his fridge. I explained that my wife had our car and asked where he lived? He replied about 3 kms away and I suggested he came and got me. he declined and called back 15 minutes later to say he was coming as he'd tried to shoo it out with a broom and it became aggressive. I advised him to forget the broom and get me. I waited and he didn't show up. Another hour later he called again, this time in panic mode, and told me that 'as soon as the ambulance comes for my wife" he'd get me! he did and the story unfolded that to save driving 6kms they hatched a plan whereby he'd use the broom and she'd chase the snake out with a broom handle. he succeeded in moving the 3.5M reptile with the broom but when she tackled it with the handle the snake merely climbed straight up the handle and bit her on the wrist. Pythons aren't venomous but do have dirty mouths and recurved teeth, something the guys wife discovered when he yanked its tail in a vain attempt to free her from its grip!

It took me 3 minutes to safely remove the snake.

Submitted on 04/16/2008

Submitted by: Adrian Walker
Reference: Adrian Walker 15/4/08

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Chip said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Adrian, this certainly is a funny Personal Account but I am not sure there was any self-selection here so I will equivocate on this one and see what the other moderators have to say. Thanks for the submission.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
If this couple would rather wrestle with a 10 foot long python (that likely weighed 80+ pounds) then drive all of 6 kilometers to get professional help then they deserve what they get. My guess is that this stubborn attitude will only get them into deeper trouble in the future, and that's enough for me to vote for a PA for them. Thanks, Adrian!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
What a lazy SOB! I've driven far greater distances for far less important services! Well, in the end, he SHOULD have just come and gotten you! Good story, Adrian!


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