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2008 April Slush
DA:Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
DA:Priest Visits boss
DA:Off to heaven
DA:More details on the missing priest
DA:Sky Pilot Priest Balloon Bye Bye
Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
Bonfire Night
HM:Battered Sausage
On The Road Again
(?)Four Wheel Drive
DA:Look Before You Leak
ice diving instructor misses hole
DA:DIY Pensioner Meets Shocking End
(DA)Intravenous Birdseed Man
Crushed crooks
Vibrator, blender and bathtube
Mr
(?)Pedestrian Killed on Barlow Trail
DA:A Screw Loose...
(?)cutting up gas tank
Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
Crank it up a little Virgil
He wasn´t the Hulk...
No balls No brains
Huntingdon Man Shoots Himself in L
battered and bruised member
A "Hot" Idea.
Guns are not effective bee killers
Boys Will Be Boys
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
In over his head...
Drunken Idiot Falls from moving SUV
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
Irish Bomb Expert
toasted Grenade
Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
Snakeskin Bracelet
Electrocuted stealing live wires
Man accidentally shoots self in che
DA:Off to Heaven
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
blasted dog
no through road my ass
Train hits man peeing on track
Police: Man dies in freak accident
Teens, Bonfire and Gas
Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
Banned for Life
A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Now promoted to higher position
Drunken Construction Worker Death
Thief burnt to death
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Man killed by 11,000 volts
man falls into mt st helens
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
Racine man dies while climbing at w
Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Earth Day Gone Wrong
Man drowned after jumping into lake
Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
heat sink fire
virginal birth - NOT
Shock Therapy for Thief
The Eye and the Testicles
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

The Eye and the Testicles

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

In the summer 0f 2001, my friends and I decided we would do some graffiti just to cure our boredom. So we all grabbed some spraypaint, and left my house. One of my extroidinarily idiotic friends, Collin, realized that he could not do graffiti well.

So, he decided to blame the spray paint for his artistic impairement. He furiously shook the spray paint can and tried to spray. Nothing came out. So he looked into the hole, and sneezed. This caused his finger to push down on the sprayer, and a jet of black paint flew into his eye.

After screaming for five minutes and running around, he slipped on a discarded water bottle andsmacked his head on a rock. He layed there, motionless, and we all almost died laughing. Then, when he didn't move, we thought he was dead. I, being the smart one of the group, realized he wasn't dead, just knocked out. That just made it funnier. After 30 minutes of laughter, Collin woke up. We washed his eye as best we could, then settled down for some pro wrestling. We decided to try some of the moves in my baement. I was first up. I was going to attempt a Mat Slam, which is where Person A stands and Person B grabs and forcibly throws Person A to the ground. Collin closed his eyes(he does that before tense stuff) and John put his knee right where Collin's groin would be. Long story short, I Mat Slammed Collin, Collin broke his nuts in half, we laughed until we cried. And yes, Collin is still an idiot.

Submitted on 04/15/2008

Submitted by: Cole
Reference: None. I saw it. June 12, 2001

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
All I can say is that I hope you made something PRODUCTIVE out of your lives since then! While this doesn't fit the usual PA, I will vote to keep it simply because it is a good demonstration of collective stupidity. Hopefully we won't be hearing future DA submissions involving any of you!! :-)


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Certainly fits the often heard comment "Stupid kids!" How do you break your nuts in half? No, never mind. I don't want to know. Thanks.


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