Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2008 April Slush
Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
Priest Visits boss
Off to heaven
More details on the missing priest
Sky Pilot Priest Balloon Bye Bye
Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
(DA)Intravenous Birdseed Man
(?)Pedestrian Killed on Barlow Trail
Off to Heaven
Boys Will Be Boys
(?)Four Wheel Drive
DA:DIY Pensioner Meets Shocking End
On The Road Again
Vibrator, blender and bathtube
Look Before You Leak
ice diving instructor misses hole
HM:Battered Sausage
He wasn´t the Hulk...
Bonfire Night
Crank it up a little Virgil
DA:A Screw Loose...
(?)cutting up gas tank
Mr
Huntingdon Man Shoots Himself in L
A "Hot" Idea.
Guns are not effective bee killers
In over his head...
Crushed crooks
Drunken Idiot Falls from moving SUV
Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
Snakeskin Bracelet
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
blasted dog
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
toasted Grenade
No balls No brains
battered and bruised member
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Irish Bomb Expert
Police: Man dies in freak accident
Man accidentally shoots self in che
Drunken Construction Worker Death
Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
Electrocuted stealing live wires
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
Train hits man peeing on track
no through road my ass
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Teens, Bonfire and Gas
Banned for Life
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
man falls into mt st helens
A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Now promoted to higher position
Thief burnt to death
Man killed by 11,000 volts
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
Racine man dies while climbing at w
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Man drowned after jumping into lake
Earth Day Gone Wrong
Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
heat sink fire
virginal birth - NOT
Shock Therapy for Thief
The Eye and the Testicles
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

The Eye and the Testicles

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

In the summer 0f 2001, my friends and I decided we would do some graffiti just to cure our boredom. So we all grabbed some spraypaint, and left my house. One of my extroidinarily idiotic friends, Collin, realized that he could not do graffiti well.

So, he decided to blame the spray paint for his artistic impairement. He furiously shook the spray paint can and tried to spray. Nothing came out. So he looked into the hole, and sneezed. This caused his finger to push down on the sprayer, and a jet of black paint flew into his eye.

After screaming for five minutes and running around, he slipped on a discarded water bottle andsmacked his head on a rock. He layed there, motionless, and we all almost died laughing. Then, when he didn't move, we thought he was dead. I, being the smart one of the group, realized he wasn't dead, just knocked out. That just made it funnier. After 30 minutes of laughter, Collin woke up. We washed his eye as best we could, then settled down for some pro wrestling. We decided to try some of the moves in my baement. I was first up. I was going to attempt a Mat Slam, which is where Person A stands and Person B grabs and forcibly throws Person A to the ground. Collin closed his eyes(he does that before tense stuff) and John put his knee right where Collin's groin would be. Long story short, I Mat Slammed Collin, Collin broke his nuts in half, we laughed until we cried. And yes, Collin is still an idiot.

Submitted on 04/15/2008

Submitted by: Cole
Reference: None. I saw it. June 12, 2001

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
All I can say is that I hope you made something PRODUCTIVE out of your lives since then! While this doesn't fit the usual PA, I will vote to keep it simply because it is a good demonstration of collective stupidity. Hopefully we won't be hearing future DA submissions involving any of you!! :-)


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Certainly fits the often heard comment "Stupid kids!" How do you break your nuts in half? No, never mind. I don't want to know. Thanks.


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

$15 Grenade Juggler T-Shirt / White
Heavy 100% cotton Hanes Beefy-T with a man juggling hand grenades on the front... and his empty smoking tennis shoes on the back! Based on a true story.
Buy the Grenade Juggler T-Shirt

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend