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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

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Tree Ride Gone Wrong

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I work with a guy on a paving crew. One day we were paving a road going up the side of a mountain. This guy - we'll call him Gary - saw a tree over the drop off and decide to try a trick he used to do as a kid. It was "tree riding" - the fine art of jumping into the top of a small tree growing over a steep bank, and riding it down as the tree bends from the weight, letting go at the moment just before you hit the grond & letting the tree spring back into place. Since he was larger now (about 180 lbs), he decided he would need to try a larger tree. Soon he spotted what he thought to be the perfect specimen. He climbed down off his equipment, asked a fellow worker to borrow his gloves, ran to the gaurdrail, climbed over it, and yelled "Hey, watch this!" (I swear he said it - famous last words, right?) He jumped out over the drop off towards the top of a branchless tree at little taller that a telephone pole and about the same thickness at the bottom. He reached the top of the tree as planned, but that was the end of the as planned part. He grasped the top of the tree, but the tree didn't give - at all. he went out from the tree sideways, lost his grip, ans slid down the tree considerably faster than he reached it. We all watched in wonder as he dropped to the ground pretty far down the bank, impacted the ground with tremendous force, then continued to roll a ways down the side of the mountain. Thankfully, nothing was seriously damaged except his pride. He managed to make it back up to the top somehow, and began to inspect hios wounds. The bark of the tree had removed a good portion of the skin from his right arn from the wrist to the elbow. A lage rock he landed on left a huge bruise that stretched from his waist to his underarm. A beer bottle his knee crushed left two cuts on his need that would eventually need stitches. as we were all laughing at his extreme stupidity, he laughed and said "Maybe I should've picked a bigger tree. That one didn't have any give to hit. I'll find a good one tomorrow." Ahh.. nothing like a good laugh at work.

Submitted on 04/12/2008

Submitted by: Steve M.
Reference: Self

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks, Steve! Maybe someone should have applied some hot tar to his wounds to remind him to "get back to work"! :-) A very funny PA!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Just a normal work day, right! Very funny story, Steve. Thanks.


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