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2008 April Slush
DA:Priest in balloon is blown to ocean
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Balcony jumper wanted to test himse
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ice diving instructor misses hole
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Vibrator, blender and bathtube
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A "Hot" Idea.
Chloroform and Sex Don't Mix
Beer, baseball, and an escalator
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He wasn´t the Hulk...
No balls No brains
Huntingdon Man Shoots Himself in L
battered and bruised member
Guns are not effective bee killers
Boys Will Be Boys
Man dies from mercury poisoning aft
In over his head...
Drunken Idiot Falls from moving SUV
A New Take on Car Surfing
Groin ... groin ... gone
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Possible Copper Theft Leads to Elec
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Electrocuted stealing live wires
Man accidentally shoots self in che
Teen sneaks out, plunges 11 floors
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Skateboarder Crashes into Bus
no through road my ass
Train hits man peeing on track
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Teens, Bonfire and Gas
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A+B+C=almost DA idiocy.
Parrot rescue ends in disaster
Man runs himself over with U-Haul.
Caution: Flammable Material
See how fast I can go!
Jumping From Bridge To Train
Now promoted to higher position
Drunken Construction Worker Death
Thief burnt to death
Tree Ride Gone Wrong
Drunk Motorbike riding ends "split"
Man killed by 11,000 volts
man falls into mt st helens
I dare you to jump
Reach out and touch a tree
Fatal Boat Party Tragedy
Stuck for a 'pee'?
The Campout Pyro
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Detonator's Radio
Bubba's Electrical Service
Earth Day Gone Wrong
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Cuddling with the crocodiles
Blown Lung
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Stuck for a 'pee'?

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I'm on a roll here! My father, a doctor, told me of the man who rode his bicycle over 6 miles one rainy evening to seek medical advice at the local hospital in England 50 y ago. He wore a large dark raincoat, which he refused to remove for the hospital nursing staff. In privacy he did so for my father, who was most surprised. This surprise did not eminate from the fact that this man had got himself stuck in an old fashioned clay urinal, but that he had cycled for 6 miles with it stuck on the end of his penis! Needless to say Dad didn't buy the story of the patient being caught whilst having a wee, either.

The story ends rather badly, I am afraid, as I know my dad is very clumsy; there is no why I would let him hit a bottle that my dick was stuck in with a hammer!!! Dad claims there was no other way (except an adrenaline injection, which would have made the irresponsible organ drop off with gangrene).

Could this man thus be the oldest Darwin awardee? Please don't award it to Dad too!!!

Submitted on 04/12/2008

Submitted by: Davida Miller
Reference: from my dad

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
While this is, IMO, borderline Urban Legend (I couldn't find a picture of an "old clay urinal", but I'll settle for some sort of bottle), it IS quite amusing and therefore worthy of consideration! Thanks!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I have no idea what a clay urinal is but whatever it may be, since it is a urinal would not the opening be more than sufficient for a penis? While this is hard to visualize how the first part happened, nevertheless the thought of your dad smashing a clay anything containing a penis with a hammer is quite awe inspiriing. Thanks, Davida.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I just did a google image search for "antique urinal" and found some rather interesting images that could explain this story, so I'll accept it as a PA. Thanks, Davida!


The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

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