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2008 March Slush
Yamashita Treasure
(Hmm)Ugg Boots and Level Crossings
(HM)Workplace Fling
DA:Prank turned punishment
HM:Kitty-Kitty-Kitty!
(Hmm)Where there's Smoke ...
(HM)Roundabout Rocket
(HM)Orcas Eco-terrorism
(?)Alcohol and me don't mix
(HM)Burners can't fly
DA:Steel is valuable...
(?)Real life Frogger
(?)Runs in the Family
(?)How stupid can you be??
(?)Flash Flood Runners
(?)Yakuza shoots his own head
(HM)Headshot
(?)woman + cellphone + train = splat
(?)Police identify father, son killed
DA:Crash Test Cart
Father knows best
Russian Roulette -Honorable Mention
bye bye testicles
Volcano climber cheats death
Be sure it's out before tossing it.
Man electrocuted stealing copper
Ticket to ride
Fork Lift Truck Doughnut
Sex with Lock Dangerous
You ride INSIDE the car
I think I forgot something...
Man blown out of truck dies
Redneck bee exterminator (writeup)
Stealing a safe and dying under it
fireworks and diesel fuel
How not to tame a croc
Teen flying kite from car
End of the line
Sex change... Shotgun sex change.
Return of 'Where there's Smoke"
gotta go
Teen love caught hanging in the bal
Let's see how you measure up!
Drifting and a 'razed' view
Man killed while beating would-be r
Honourable mention - total idiot te
Man dies when wind flips mattress
Desert party brawl turns fatal with
Taking out the Trash...
Shortcut to street cred
Modern day tarzan
Addicted to Butane
OWCH!!!
How Not to Kill a Pet Rat
Party Guest Tragedy
Woman killed by train
Stealing Cooper Wire = Deadly Fire
The French Fries Experience
Shocking sex death ruled homicide
Man electrocuted in theft of wire,
Thieves risk lives to steal metal
barbacue pit
Diving drunk while sleeping
Don't Go Bouldering with a Whacko
Millions of pieces
Australian Man Gunned Down in Drive
An erotic- accident
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Modern day tarzan

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is my own personal account, I was not removed from the gene pool from it but would like to tell my story of extreme stupidity anyway. In Red Deer the city that this event took place there is alot of trees, they may be abundant but altogether compared to others they may be considered "weak" however some can be very tall. This event did not become wide known because I was ashamed of my own stupidity throughout the entire process and left out many details about the nature of the accident to those in the emergency room.

That day had started like any other day, I was with 1 other friend and I was freshly 17 years old. we had suddenly had a bright idea to try to climb onto a sports shed of a school, and we felt confident we could manage it. Nearby there was a tree and it had one branch overhanging the shed, my freind and I climbed attempting to get across the one branch but a cracking sound quickly sent me back and I gave up the attempt on the shed, as did my freind. Instead I wanted to conquer the tree and managed to get to the top where I had found an interesting arangment of branches. With me and my high IQ level I decided to attempt a few pull ups, My freind was near the bottom of the tree at the time and i quickely was ready for my first attempt. I gripped the brach and let my self hang the branch held well, as I tried to pull myself up however I heard a snap that sent me into a state of shock and I let go, if i had held it I might have got some footing as the branch was still holding. I plunged somewhere between 30-40 feet and oddly I did not hit any branches on the way down and me being the flashy person I am attempted to land on my feet. I crumpled on the ground and in my extreme pain (from both my back and ankle) I called my friend and the first thing he asked was "are you ok?" then once he seen I was in pain he asked if I needed a doctor, notice not "ambulance". He called his mom and I got up with his and his mom's help to get to a small car and we drove to the hospital. At the time the pain was low as it was already more then I could bear but we arrived and after being taken into the emergency room I lied about how I fell and they layed me in a bed to find out later that I had narrowly avoided becoming paralyzed from the waist down from not one but 4 broken vertabrates as well a broken talus bone (in my ankle). My friend only knew the truth and he kept it to himself but from the height I fell if I had not landed feet first or landed on a branch on the way down I could have easily removed myself or steralized myself.

I am healthy now but have gained somewhat of a fear of trees and want to show my story, i know this is not darwin award material but I hope its humorous anyway.

Submitted on 03/13/2008

Submitted by: Jordan Ramstad
Reference: August 3, 2007

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Climbing to the top of a tall tree, holding on by your hands, then letting go when you hear it start to snap sounds like something right out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. I'm glad to hear you managed to not get paralyzed by this dumb stunt. Thanks, Jordan!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
You lucky so-and-so! DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!! :-) Thanks for sharing, Jordan! That was a funny story!


The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

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