I've already submitted a few stories to you folks, but I only recently remembered an account of my own which might just be stupid enough to grace your website.

I had just moved in with my current roommate, sometime last year. Him being the young bachelor type, and me being a slightly older mother of two, I came upon a house that HAD to be cleaned, and could only be done with a woman's touch. This house was in shambles. Almost like a tornado had gone through it.

One day, while he was at work, I spent the better part of the daylight hours cleaning and scrubbing. Around 5 in the evening, I decided I was done for the day. Still feeling like I hadn't made a dent, I went onto the patio for a smoke. The patio, however, was just as bad as the apartment itself. It had beer cans, cigarette butts, old food, and crumpled up paper strewn about it. I was disgusted but too tired to clean it. As I stood on the only part of the patio that wasn't covered by trash, I decided to put it out, and toss it down below by pushing it between the floorboard and wall. No one lived below us at the time, and they had a concrete floor, so it seemed harmless to toss a cigarette down. Kinda rude, I admit, but I was too exhausted to care and had no ashtray.

Anyway, I went back inside and started making dinner. I had left the patio door open to let a breeze in since it was the middle of summer. A short time later, I smelled smoke and heard popping, like the popping of wood on fire. But for some stupid reason, I assumed it was a neighbor with their fireplace going. Why I thought someone would have a fire going in the middle of the summer is beyond me. Even more beyond me is why I would think that, even if they did, I'd be able to hear the crackling of the wood from inside my apartment.

About two or three minutes passed as I prepared dinner, unaware of what was going on just outside, when my 4 year old daughter said, surprisingly calm, "Mom, the house is on fire." I ran to the patio door, and sure enough, the wall had caught fire. When I threw the cigarette down which apparently hadn't gone all the way out, assuming it had just rolled through the crack and onto the cement below, it had gotten stuck on a piece of garbage in the crack and set it aflame. I quickly put it out, thankfully before I panicked. I decided to quit smoking after that.

Since no one got hurt, this obviously isn't worthy of a DA, but I felt plenty stupid enough after.

Now I have to think of some way to explain the scorch mark on the wall to the managers of the apartments when I want to move....

Submitted on 03/11/2008

Submitted by: Bradi (Not a friend of fire!)
Reference: Personal Account March 10, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Brandi, thanks for the funny story. Just blame it on the slob you moved in with.

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A very good example of why smokers should never just throw a butt away without making sure it's fully out. Thanks, Bradi!

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