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2008 March Slush
Yamashita Treasure
(Hmm)Ugg Boots and Level Crossings
DA:Prank turned punishment
(HM)Workplace Fling
(Hmm)Kitty-Kitty-Kitty!
DA:Steel is valuable...
(?)Police identify father, son killed
(?)How stupid can you be??
(Hmm)Where there's Smoke ...
(HM)Roundabout Rocket
(HM)Orcas Eco-terrorism
(HM)Headshot
(?)Real life Frogger
(?)Runs in the Family
(?)Alcohol and me don't mix
(HM)Burners can't fly
(?)Flash Flood Runners
(?)woman + cellphone + train = splat
(?)Yakuza shoots his own head
DA:Crash Test Cart
bye bye testicles
Volcano climber cheats death
Russian Roulette -Honorable Mention
Father knows best
Be sure it's out before tossing it.
Man electrocuted stealing copper
Ticket to ride
Sex with Lock Dangerous
You ride INSIDE the car
Fork Lift Truck Doughnut
I think I forgot something...
Man blown out of truck dies
Redneck bee exterminator (writeup)
fireworks and diesel fuel
Teen flying kite from car
End of the line
Sex change... Shotgun sex change.
How not to tame a croc
Stealing a safe and dying under it
Return of 'Where there's Smoke"
gotta go
Drifting and a 'razed' view
Teen love caught hanging in the bal
Let's see how you measure up!
Man killed while beating would-be r
Honourable mention - total idiot te
Man dies when wind flips mattress
Taking out the Trash...
Shortcut to street cred
Modern day tarzan
Desert party brawl turns fatal with
Addicted to Butane
OWCH!!!
Party Guest Tragedy
How Not to Kill a Pet Rat
Woman killed by train
Stealing Cooper Wire = Deadly Fire
The French Fries Experience
Shocking sex death ruled homicide
Man electrocuted in theft of wire,
Thieves risk lives to steal metal
barbacue pit
Diving drunk while sleeping
Australian Man Gunned Down in Drive
Millions of pieces
Don't Go Bouldering with a Whacko
An erotic- accident
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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Be sure it's out before tossing it.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I've already submitted a few stories to you folks, but I only recently remembered an account of my own which might just be stupid enough to grace your website.

I had just moved in with my current roommate, sometime last year. Him being the young bachelor type, and me being a slightly older mother of two, I came upon a house that HAD to be cleaned, and could only be done with a woman's touch. This house was in shambles. Almost like a tornado had gone through it.

One day, while he was at work, I spent the better part of the daylight hours cleaning and scrubbing. Around 5 in the evening, I decided I was done for the day. Still feeling like I hadn't made a dent, I went onto the patio for a smoke. The patio, however, was just as bad as the apartment itself. It had beer cans, cigarette butts, old food, and crumpled up paper strewn about it. I was disgusted but too tired to clean it. As I stood on the only part of the patio that wasn't covered by trash, I decided to put it out, and toss it down below by pushing it between the floorboard and wall. No one lived below us at the time, and they had a concrete floor, so it seemed harmless to toss a cigarette down. Kinda rude, I admit, but I was too exhausted to care and had no ashtray.

Anyway, I went back inside and started making dinner. I had left the patio door open to let a breeze in since it was the middle of summer. A short time later, I smelled smoke and heard popping, like the popping of wood on fire. But for some stupid reason, I assumed it was a neighbor with their fireplace going. Why I thought someone would have a fire going in the middle of the summer is beyond me. Even more beyond me is why I would think that, even if they did, I'd be able to hear the crackling of the wood from inside my apartment.

About two or three minutes passed as I prepared dinner, unaware of what was going on just outside, when my 4 year old daughter said, surprisingly calm, "Mom, the house is on fire." I ran to the patio door, and sure enough, the wall had caught fire. When I threw the cigarette down which apparently hadn't gone all the way out, assuming it had just rolled through the crack and onto the cement below, it had gotten stuck on a piece of garbage in the crack and set it aflame. I quickly put it out, thankfully before I panicked. I decided to quit smoking after that.

Since no one got hurt, this obviously isn't worthy of a DA, but I felt plenty stupid enough after.

Now I have to think of some way to explain the scorch mark on the wall to the managers of the apartments when I want to move....

Submitted on 03/11/2008

Submitted by: Bradi (Not a friend of fire!)
Reference: Personal Account March 10, 2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Brandi, thanks for the funny story. Just blame it on the slob you moved in with.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A very good example of why smokers should never just throw a butt away without making sure it's fully out. Thanks, Bradi!


The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

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