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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Vote to tell me what *you* think!

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2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I heard this story on a local radio station, therefore I am not completly convinced of its authenticity. However, in a world where people routinely subject themselves to weird and wonderful tests of human resiliance, I wouldn't bet at all surprised if it were true! So here it goes; A single lady who lived somewhere in the north of Enland owned a python. It was a much loved pet, indeed its' devoted owner loved it so much that it was regularly allowed to explore the house of its' own accord. Let me point out that this was not a tiny newly hatched python, but one that had been living with this lady for many years, which implies that this snake was more than a couple of inches long! The lady began noticing, with some concern, that her beloved pet seemed to have lost its' appetite and being the reponsible pet owner that she was, took the snake to the vets. It was examined and x-rayed and was found to have no ilnesses or blockages or anything phsyical that would normally be the cause for loss of appetite. With much head scratching and referring to text books the vet asked detailed questions about how the snake was behaving. The lady told him that she had not noticed the snake eat anything for a couple of months at least, ahe also told the frankly shocked and bemused vet that the snake was allowed to roam the house freely. At this point a little alarm rang in the vets' head. He asked where the snake slept at night to which the lady replied that funnily enough she had awoken the last couple of nights to find her faithful companion streched out next to her in bed! Steadying himself on his desk, the vet, who I imagine was fighting hard to restrain himself at this point, proceded to tell the worried owner his diagnosis. Pythons', it transpires are clever and ruthless. Whilst cosying up to its owner in bed, the devious reptile was infact measuring her by laying straight out beside her. The reason it had been reluctant to eat any food that she offered him was that he was starving himself ready for a rather large meal. Once the measurements he had been making were satisfactory, in that he was suitabley hungry and long enough, he would have proceded to devour his owner.

Although this idiotic woman didn't actually expire due to her ignorance, I would like to think that this story would qualify for at least an honourable mention. If nothing else but to point out how moronic and blindsighted by adoration some pet owners actually are.

Submitted on 03/04/2008

Submitted by: Jenny Drake
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
If nothing else, this is pretty funny! Pythons (IF they are kept as pets) are usually kept in a tank. Obviously, this lady was a bit crackers. Perhaps her next "bedside companion" will be a king cobra...anyway, this made me laugh, and I can keep this as a PA! Thanks, Jenny!


Chip said:
Neutral: Urban Legend
I too am skeptical and, in my opinion, I would classify this as an Urban Legend. But it is funny and we thank you for sending it in, Jenny


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Urban Legend
I'm also skeptical about this one but it does sound like a pretty humorous urban legend so I'm willing to vote for it. Thanks, Jenny.


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