Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 February Slush
(?)Seatbelt subterfuge kills driver
(?)Mamba kills Man
(DA)Chalk one up for the dog.
Fatal Ski Slope Prank
(DA)A Breathtaking View
(HM)Mexican Divorce
DA:Dynamite Defroster
(Hmmm)Surfing the wrong wave
(?)Die Hard
(DA)Chemistry Went Over Her Head
(>)Living the High Life (On a Budget)
(DA)On the Piste
(?)Darwin in heavy traffic
(DA)Stabbing suspect dies in car crash
Man died after driving down boat ra
(?)Winched up
(DA)Slip Sliding Away
(No)Swimming with the fish (bits)
Top of the train
Up, Up, and Away!
(DA)Hare today, gone tomorrow
Brain Evacuation
Killer locomotive
A good thought gone bad
Bridges are lower than they appear
Monk killed by own runaway lawnmowe
(HM)Shock Horror
Inspiration + Youth + Explosives =
Manhole kills man, Dove in for Cana
no diving please
Roping a Bobcat
Mattress Race
Just Say No
Man has friend shoot him to get off
Wash those genes away
BASE jumper succumbs to stupidity
Old shells never die
A Mattress of Life and Death....
(DA)4 Die In Dirtbike Collision
boat welding
Trail Blazing Gaffe
It only works in the movies
feeling tyred - near miss
Tram drags man with him
Trailer burns when woman uses gas t
Tree felling made easy
Community service for teen who burn
If at first you don't succeed
Man dies trying to beat train in Sa
The $500 Bullet
Please Take This Outside
Death by iPod?
BBQ Whippits
Sledding Accident
Two men burned in backyard blast
Redneck Bee Exterminator
The Widow Maker
Miner nearly crushes himself
Too Close For Comfort
Drain Surfing
A fool and his bike
arrange your own hit
A tough act to swallow for student
Grocery Bang!
Drove 2.5 miles on the wrong way
Departing parted
I'm dying for a drink
2 teens hurt by explosion while dri
Smoking related near miss
Smoky bar triggered fatal asthma at
Man's death linked to cotton swab u
putting your foot in it
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

A Mattress of Life and Death....

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Supt Mauro Soraglia must have wondered what had been going through David Monk's head when he attended the scene of Mr Monk's latest brainwave; racing mattresses down a ski slope. At night. Bare chested. Using the very mattresses that act as protective cushions on the various 'hard' parts of the slope.

It must have been a great idea initially; use the daytime ski run as a nocturnal toboggan run. And who needs all that protective padding around the fences anyway? We do! We need something to ride on!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

It is not reported at this time whether alcohol was involved (although Sauze d'Oulx near Turin, northern Italy, is described as having a 'party atmosphere'), or if Mr Monk was a parent at all.

In the early hours of yesterday, Mr Monk and his friends used some foam crash barriers from ski lift supports as makeshift sleds.

They gathered speed as they slid down the mountain, but crashed into the fence from which they had taken the crash barriers.

Mr Monk suffered severe head injuries and died at the scene, while two of the 46-year-old's friends were taken to hospital.

'The scene when we got there was appalling – there was blood everywhere,' said Supt Mauro Soraglia.

'One man was bare-chested and covered in blood – he was hysterical.'

'It was appalling, blood everywhere'

Mr Monk, from Ware, Hertfordshire, suffered fractures to his head and chest and could not be resusc-itated by paramedics.

'Colleagues and myself tried to revive the victim and, while we were doing this, the fourth man disappeared,' added Supt Soraglia.

'He was in a severe state of shock and we don't know who he is.'

Mr Monk's friend, 46-year-old Alan McGregor, was released from hospital.

But the other patient, 41-year-old Richard Watkins, was still in hospital. Both men are from Hertfordshire.

The group has been told to stay in Italy for the next few days, while an investigation is launched into the accident, Supt Soraglia said.

Submitted on 02/04/2008

Submitted by: Mark Garner
Reference: http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=92937&in_page_id=34 4feb2008

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
Thanks, we've received this story numerous times.


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
We do have this one but I think this one provides good details not in the others - like the fact that the victim was bare chested in the snow. I say we ask Darwin to take a look. Thanks, Mark


James said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
A few additional juicy tidbits for Darwin to see! I am rather shocked to find that these gentry were in their 40s (I expect this from college-age kids, but REALLY!)...Thanks!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend