Not a Shred of Sense
2008 Reader Submission
Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."
(Again, these come from my own eyewitness practice of Emergency Medicine for the last 30 years, please do not print my name or anything within these parenthesis).
The ambulance responded to a frantic call concerning a neighbor's trip through an industrial strength tree shredder. It seems the individual had decided to do his own tree pruning rather than hire a professional.
The local rental shop rented shredders that could make quick work of mass quantities of yard debris, including tree limbs up to 8 inches in diameter.
To save either time or money, or both, the neighbor placed the shredder at the base of a great oak tree. He intended to cut the top third of the tree off, since it had been damaged by lightning and was dead.
With the shredder running wide open, the neighbor climbed his ladder to the first tree branch, stepped off, and fell.
The Ambulance personnel found him very dead, one leg shredded to the hip, half in and out of the shredder's hopper.
Not married, no kids, removed from the gene pool.
Submitted on 01/21/2008
Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com