Slippery When Wet
2008 Reader Submission
Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."
The Darwin Awards have celebrated many bone-headed things burglars do to get into or away from the site of their crimes. But taking a short-cut down a 55-foot sheer rock face in the rain at the crack of dawn is the province of mountain goats, not humans hoping to pass on their species.
At 6.30 on January 15, at least two men broke into the Cyber gymnasium at Nacka, east of Stockholm, Sweden. They were startled by a janitor and ran to get away, the police report. Afraid of detection they decided to take a short cut down the 18 meter (55-foot) cliff face close to the school.
They failed to consider three crucial facts:
* Due to the latitude the sun rises at 8.30 in Stockholm during January. So it was pitch black.
* Unusually for the season there was no snow. Instead, it had rained during the night
* Most of the rock in eastern Sweden is granite. The kind that can be polished into posh floors and fancy counter tops, both very slick. This is a known fact for people living in the area.
Try tilting a slab of polished granite, pour water over it and make a controlled descent.
In the dark. Carrying you heist with you.
In short, one of the burglars slipped and fell head-over-heels 55 feet to his death. His would-be price was found around him. The police is still looking for the other burgler.
The Darwin Award regulations have all been fulfilled:
• Preproduction: The candidate will not reproduce himself further (except as a Xerox)
• Excellence: Falling down a cliff is stupid. Sprinting down a 55-foot natural aqua slide is exceptional stupidity
• Self-Selection: check
• Maturity: no age provided in the newspaper, but certainly adult
• Veracity: Reputable Swedish newspaper (Aftonbladet)
For those who doubt the inner moron of the burglar in question, please check out the picture at www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article1637068.ab
Submitted on 01/16/2008
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