Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2007 December Slush
(?) Good Samaritans
(?) Just Two For The Air
DA: The Alchemist
(NO)Tigers maul zoo visitor to death
(?)slagged
(HM)Man Nearly Dies Downing Vodka at Ai
(?)Escape to Death
(DA)Why Didn't the Truck Blow Up?
(?)19 year old killed By his own pipe
(?)snowmobile rider killed on I-84
(?)Can't they do anything right?
(Hmm)Teen Taunts Tiger, Gets Killed
(DA)Burglar cable ascent and descent
Sleepy Boater on Auto Pilot
Officers investigating bizarre free
Driving Switch-a-Roo
It's About the Pin, Stupid
gaurd rail 1 biker 0
Crashing Rage-aholic
The idiot and the firework.
Hunting from a Kayak
Pizza Pal Perishes Pitifully
Desperate lover
Cyclist who crashed with rattlesnak
Crime didn't pay
Dried out thief
smokin berries
Live on TV, it's 'railroad chicken'
Dad has gone, fishing....
Barely survived as teenager!
Fuel drum explodes in teen's face
Firecracker!
Drunken Leaper
Homemade bomb blast kills teen
Click or Screw?
A Hand of Light
Balls of Fire
Run over by own car
Death at a Football Game
Road Rage Causes Deadly Accident
Man injured in fall from Gatlinburg
Moronic Ski Day
Bigfoot Hoax Backfires
Stump Remover
Man Shots Self in Leg
Wally Trolley Dash
death by booze and lapdance
snake souvinere survivor
potato gun
stonner electricion electricuted
house got burned because of spider
Older Slush 
 
~ Random Story ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Pizza Pal Perishes Pitifully

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

January or February 2001

First hand account -

Dominoes drivers are generally a very smart bunch. They weather storms, hot pizzas, bad directions, and cheap tippers all in the name of customer convenience.

The drivers at the Dominoes in Dunkirk, Maryland are no exception. They drive hard, party hard, and in this case, die hard.

One of the best was a driver I'll call "Ralph". One night "Ralph" was at his parent's home with his girlfriend, and he got the hiccups.

He also had gun (a rifle I think)

Avid readers of the Darwin awards will probably be able to guess what happened next ...

When "Ralph" had the hiccups he liked to aim his gun (unloaded) at his diaphragm, and it always works.

This time it REALLY worked. Surprise, surprise, the gun was LOADED, and "Ralph" became R.I.P.

The odd thing was that all his buddies were so depressed that he died, yet no one mentioned what a DUMB thing it was to do! (and alcohol was NOT involved)

... at least his hiccups never returned...

Submitted on 12/02/2007

Submitted by: Ms. Piggy
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
Rule # 1 : Guns are always loaded! Rule # 2 : See Rule # 1 Personally I find it hard to believe that pointing an unloaded gun at himself would cure the hiccups. A common attempt to cure hiccups is to scare the person, but if you know your gun is unloaded and point it at yourself you'd know it's not loaded (see rule #1). In any event I classify this as just another case of foolishness with guns, which is all too common.


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Well, it IS a Personal Account and I find the method of story telling amusing so I all for this one. Thanks, Ms. Piggy


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Since this IS a PA, I think it will wash, especially considering the funny write-up! Thanks, Ms. Piggy!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend