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2007 November Slush
UL: Taser Test
(?) Vladivostok Or Bust
(HM)Definitely non-deadly
PA: Grain Alcohol and Fire Don't Mix
(?)Loosening lug nuts.. HM
(?)Gator Makes Out Like A Bandit
(DA)Crutch, Meet Crotch
(?)Product Placement & Dismemberment
(?)Man Found Dead, Stuck In Cat Door
(DA)Tractor Electrocution
(?)How NOT to dismantle a bomb
(HM)Welding a Pipe Bomb
(HM)Letal mushroom almost letal
A ride on a swiss lake
Man Shoots His Own Hand, Leg, and N
Canned corn
Truck drags, kills man
Give yourself a hand
Workers dont need chemsitry lessons
A dumb idea from a dumb trucker
Condom Head
Threesome in your garage
Naked man suffocated in condom
Determined to Die
How to slice up a grenade...
Handy Fireworks
Two nude dancers leap to death
Long Drop
Soccer player killed by goal
Divorce would have been easier
Bikie Gang Bang
Boat capsize
Man killed at Las Cruces recycling
All new Rust Blaster!
Worker Dies While Making Phone Call
Man struck by towed ‘fridge dies at
Eugenics in motion.
Winter pedalo
man dies in cat door
tree's revenge
Man dies trying to kill another man
Snake Bite
Killer shrimps
Bizar accident
The Last Moments of Two Youths
Sex act gonne terribly wrong!
whale watching swimmer
Whoya Gonna Blame..? THE HOSPITAL!
Snake bites woman in church
HOARDER KILLED BY OWN RUBBISH
Silliness and trains don't mix
Cold Dope
Forget My Severed Arm...
House explosion injures man
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

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tree's revenge

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Back in the late '70's, on a very cold and windy November day, my father decided to give the willow its annual "haircut". My mother and I were not bagging the branches quickly enough, so he chased us into the house. SInce it was around noon, my mother decided to make some lunch. As the bacon fried, she kept looking out in the yard (window over the sink) and kept wondering aloud why she didn't see him. We ate, then she suggested we go outside to find out why he wasn't coming in. The first thing we noticed was the still-open ladder on its side on the ground on the west side of the tree, the side facing away from the house. No father. We could hear him yelling. The willow was sporting a very funny ornament, about halfway up. The wind had caught him (tiny guy, maybe 115, soakiing wet), and knocked him off his feet as he was reaching with the pruning pole. As he fell, a sturdier branch had caught him by the weather flap on the back of his jacket, and there he stuck. Not only was he mad at us and the whole neighborhood about hanging up there, he couldn't get at his can of beer he had stuck in one of the hollows in the tree, or reach his cigarettes. All we had to do was stand the ladder, again, and one of us had to climb up to detach him. Lucky for him we were still home, not out shopping, because this story would have been a bona fide Darwin Award. He did that about six years later, as he lay dying, beggin for a cigarette through notes, although he ad been placed on a ventilator and was on oxygen, et cetera.

Submitted on 11/25/2007

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Although it sounds like he was never in any physical danger the image of him hanging there sure is deserving of a PA. Thanks!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for the laugh at the thought of him hanging there!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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