This does not qualify anyone for a Darwin Award (fortunately for me, not so much for the gene-pool perhaps), but it is a good story with and important life lesson: namely, that the words 'brilliant', 'grain alcohol', and 'fire' don't mix.

Some friends and I were having drinks at a party at my friends house. After consuming many cocktails, we had a 'BRILLIANT' idea to pour a shot of 'GRAIN ALCOHOL' and set it on 'FIRE' and drink it. I believe the ultimate goal was to impress the ladies who happened to be present. It originated with stories being told of different types of shots when someone mentioned a flaming shot. We all decided this would be an excellent thing to try, and having almost pure alcohol, easy to accomplish.

Before I tell the story, let me add that the person who mentioned the flaming shot neglected to tell us that you are supposed to blow it out before taking it.

So we poured a shot of liquor into a shot glass and lit it ablaze. So far, so good. Then, we looked at each other to decide who would be the guineau pig. After much debate ("c'mon, man up!"), we had our first contender. My friend proceded to pick up the shot glass, put it down, pick it up, put it down, and finally, stare at it while on fire for a good two minutes.

"F*** that!" he finally declared. After a short time looking at the still flaming concoction, I decided that democratic procedure would produce no results. I picked up the shot glass and slammed the flamming drink down. Upside, the fire was quickly extinguished after I closed my mouth. Downside, the inside of my mouth felt and tasted like burning. For two days.

My friend who had previously refused the drink saw how easily the last shot had been dispatched, and quickly prepared himself another. Not to be outdone, he poured it to the rim of the glass and lit it. The upside, he would out-do my by drinking more. The downside, apparently completely full shot glasses are difficult to lift to your face and drink as the tend to spill. And if the liqour is on fire when it spills, the fire tends to spill with the liqour. So he proceded to light the counter top on fire, his hand; then, demonstrating that drinking does in fact reduce your reaction time, tried to stop from drinking it but couldn't stop in time and poured it almost completely on his face and sweatshirt. Upside, his goatee insulated his face from the fire. Downside, hair is flammable. After most of his (facial)hair caught on fire, and we stopped laughing enough to realize he had no idea what to do, another friend sitting on the counter started slapping him in the face with a kitchen towel to extinguish the growing blaze.

Final count: Facial Hair - 0, Taste Buds - 0, flaming shots - 2. Moral: Any feat involving fire and grain alcohol that is described as brilliant... isn't.

Submitted on 11/15/2007

Submitted by: Colin
Reference: Spring 1999

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Colin, your story had me laughing out loud over these misadvised antics! I especially liked the score that you wrapped up the story with. I only wish there were some photos or video available!

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
One of the funniest stories I have read in quite a while. I think we have a winner here! Thanks for the laugh, Colin.

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