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2007 November Slush
UL: Taser Test
(?) Vladivostok Or Bust
(HM)Definitely non-deadly
PA: Grain Alcohol and Fire Don't Mix
(?)Loosening lug nuts.. HM
(?)Gator Makes Out Like A Bandit
(DA)Crutch, Meet Crotch
(?)Product Placement & Dismemberment
(?)Man Found Dead, Stuck In Cat Door
(DA)Tractor Electrocution
(?)How NOT to dismantle a bomb
(HM)Welding a Pipe Bomb
(HM)Letal mushroom almost letal
A ride on a swiss lake
Man Shoots His Own Hand, Leg, and N
Canned corn
Truck drags, kills man
Give yourself a hand
Workers dont need chemsitry lessons
A dumb idea from a dumb trucker
Condom Head
Threesome in your garage
Naked man suffocated in condom
Determined to Die
How to slice up a grenade...
Handy Fireworks
Two nude dancers leap to death
Long Drop
Soccer player killed by goal
Divorce would have been easier
Bikie Gang Bang
Boat capsize
Man killed at Las Cruces recycling
All new Rust Blaster!
Worker Dies While Making Phone Call
Man struck by towed ‘fridge dies at
Eugenics in motion.
Winter pedalo
man dies in cat door
tree's revenge
Man dies trying to kill another man
Snake Bite
Killer shrimps
Bizar accident
The Last Moments of Two Youths
Sex act gonne terribly wrong!
whale watching swimmer
Whoya Gonna Blame..? THE HOSPITAL!
Snake bites woman in church
HOARDER KILLED BY OWN RUBBISH
Silliness and trains don't mix
Cold Dope
Forget My Severed Arm...
House explosion injures man
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Canned corn

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I couldn’t sleep one night and looked outside to see police lights, ambulance at the 7-11 store at the end of the street so went to investigate. As I walked up to the store, I first saw several officers laughing so hard they were leaning on the cars. Just then, the ambulance attendants were trying to carry the stretcher out of the store. They too were laughing loudly and when the stretcher hit the door they dropped the stretcher and the guy on it in the doorway. This caused the officers to almost fall over from laughing. No ran to help the ambulance guys but they managed to get the guy back onto the stretcher and into the ambulance although no one seemed in a hurry. When I asked what was going on, the officer explained it this way.

About 1 am, a guy had strolled into the store and got a beer and as he approached the counter he simply pulled out his penis and laid it on the counter. The female clerk, no thinking to much about it grabbed a can of corn left on the counter and hit it as hard as she could. Well, he passed out, the cops were called and the ambulance. No could keep a straight face for days over that.

I do not know how it turned out but reproduction was probably out and I bet he still shakes at the sign of canned vegetables.

Submitted on 11/14/2007

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 1979-1980 Coos Bay Oregon

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Hmmm... sounds like an Urban Legend to me but we do have a lot of leeway in Personal Accounts. Let this be a warning: snakes don't like canned corn. Thanks for the story.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree that this could be an urban legend, but it also could be a typical night for EMT's in big cities like New York. Thanks for a good laugh!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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