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2007 October Slush
(DA) The Enema Within
(?) Man killed on I-880 held onto back
(DA) Elephants makes Journalist Squash
(DA) When You Guard, Dont Try To steal
(DA) The Wrong Chin-Up Bar
(?) Breathalyser Game
(PA) Remember the Hindenburg
Reverend's Odd Autoasphyxia
Retired cop struck, killed by train
The Hitchhiker Who Became Roadkill
(?) light me, camera, action!
(DA) Ammo Dumps
Lenoir Man Electrocuted
“shredded hippy parts!”
(?) I need it like a hook in the head
Hang on there!
Garden Gnomw
Second time unlucky
Grab a ride
Brilliant Example of Propane Safety
I threw a hatchet in the air,
Dead man was in avocado tree for da
Surf's Up
'Skylarking' man in undies falls ni
Smoking and Abiding Kills!!!!
A simple repair
Syphoning gas with vacuum cleaner
Anti-Violence activist teen shot
Crocodile Indeed
Newtons Other Laws
Car kills two people fighting
Man Stuck in Ex-Wife's Window Dies
oversized load kills man of 75.
Dogs Shot man on hunting Trip
Two women burned while huffing comp
Fighting man, woman killed on I-595
Forbidden Fruit
(DA) Fatal a-Traction
flammable fraud attempt
Body struck repeatedly on I-880
Burglar slashes own throat
Man accidently shoots himself in ba
Car Surfing
Dumped on while dumping
Car Capers
Pervert obsessed with bondage sex d
Theif struck by train
Coleman Stoves are for Outside Only
A garage sale??
No flashlight? No Problem
Pheasant & Highway
Gas station.. close call
Be gateful it's not you
Dying for a leak?
Wheelchair Whacko!
CVS--Crook Vent Stuck!
The invulnerable crossing guard
Tight Chimney
Malfunction Junction
2 Construction Workers Drown in Pon
Their truck was da bomb!
Tuck and Roll
Woman looses arm after a loin bite
Camouflage or not
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Tight Chimney

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

It was december 26, 2004 the day I had my first seizure. I went to a Hospital in Minneapolis and they found out that it wasn't epilepsy or anything serious. As my parents and I were wating there in the hospital to be released, two cops had passed by my room escorting a team of nurses who were moving a patient on a gurney. The man in question was completely covered in soot, had bloody scars all over his face and body, and was breathinng through an oxygen tank. Before leaving, my parents informed me that the man we saw had been arrested for trying to rob a bookstore. I thought to myself how could something like that happen? The answer turned up in the newspaper and the television news that a man had tried to rob a bookstore in the city of Minneapolis. Aparently the doors and the windows were locked, but this man was a little too creative for his own good and made his way to the top of the roof of the bookstore where he found the Chimney. He figured that if Santa Claus could do it then why couldn't he? The reason he was incapable of such a feat were: 1. Santa Doesn't really exist. 2. The Chimney wasn't wide enough. 3. If Santa Did do this then he'd need to be very skinny. The theif was rescued when a storeclerk called authorities when hte person reported screams coming from the roof of the would-be looted bookstore. The chimney had to be cut away from around him in order for the fellon to escape. He may have had broken ribs along with tight breething on acount of the fact that he was stuck in a chimney overnight. but he is stilol able to reproduce so I'd recommend that this be labled as either an honerable mention or a personal account.

Submitted on 10/24/2007

Submitted by: Chris Boote
Reference: Minnesota Star tribune, WCCO News for Minnesota, or KSTP5 for Minnesota

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Chris, thanks for the story. I agree that the would be chimney sweep deserves an Honorable Mention for his escapade.


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Idiot-caught-in-chimney seems to be a fairly common theme but this firsthand account of the results of such stupidity really makes this one stand out. Since I couldn't find any actual news references to back this up I'll vote PA on it. Thanks, Chris!


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