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A simple repair
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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A simple repair

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

When I went to the local chapter of ITT, I met a great guy named Ben. Now, Ben was as sharp as a tack. Nothing made it past his eye without excrutiating scrutiny. Which is why I was so surprised when I witnessed this attempt at the Darwin hall of shame.

Ben and I were at his parents house helping out with the lawn work, as they were getting on in age and couldn't do it themselves. Ben took one look at his fathers worn lawnmower and found a small hole in the metal tank. He turned the mower upside down in an attempt to drain the gasoline from it. He was successful, although he was now practically drenched in gas. Ben grabbed his handy welding torch and spot welded the tank back together. Satisfied with his job well done, Ben took it upon himself to light up a congratulatory cigarette. It was almost his last. Flames engulfed my dear friend as he struck his lighter, then mostly subsided and concentrated in the genital area.

Ben, now one ponytail short, was grateful when the doctor in the emergency room told him that his genital were still functional but would be very tender for the next few weeks.

Submitted on 10/01/2007

Submitted by: Matthew Trout
Reference: Personal Account 9/03/04

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A somewhat amusing Personal Account. Why did the welding torch not ignite the gas? Thanks for sending the story, Matthew.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
This is a funny story, Matthew! What does it for me is the sheer cartooniness of your friend successfully welding a tank while soaked in gasoline and then nearly getting immolated when he lights the cigarette! The readers should enjoy this one!


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