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2007 September Slush
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Ignited Arsonist Shoots Self
Attempted energy theft kills father
Student tried to jump over car
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Jet Ski Won't Turn
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here kitty kitty
Deadly Mirror
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Twice a charm
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Deadly Horseplay Claims a Woman
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Man sticks Pet Rattlesnake in mouth
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Jet Ski Won't Turn

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My buddies and I were out Jetskiing on the Columbia River in Washington a few summers ago, which we did often. We launched off the dock in the best watercraft area, and were having a good time drinking and laughing it up. All of a sudden my buddy Stephen, who likes to take a few risks to be funny, decided to spray the rest of us standing on the dock. Now, I did go over the safety and other precautions when riding, but I guess not well enough. Stephen came directly at us with the Jetski, but for some reason forgot to trim the Jetski down (which lowers the jet into the water for better maneuverability). He thinks his prank will be funny and worth it, but as he gets about 15 feet from the dock toward us, he begins to turn and realizes nothing's happening. He was going about 40 MPH and smashed head first into the dock! He was projected about 35 feet and was in about 6 inches of water when he finally stopped (he could have easily gone straight up onto the rocky shore). This was a huge act of stupidity that luckily only ended with a few scrapes, bruises, and cuts, but the panic on his face was awesome... we ended up getting the Jetski fixed (which he never paid for), and still continue to Jetski (without Stephen of course).

Moral of the story: Beer: $20 Jetski: $1500 Lifejacket: $50 Seeing your friend's panicked face thinking

he's about to die because of his own stupidity: $$$PRICELESS$$$

Submitted on 09/14/2007

Submitted by: Robert Nelson
Reference: Not Reported to News

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
This is a very funny and visual personal account! Well-written, Robert! I got a good laugh out of this one!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
As a retired USCG Aux. public education instructor I wish I had a video of an incident like this to show new boaters what not to do. Great writeup, Robert. Thanks for sending it in!


$5 Darwin Fish.
6" x 2.25" Silver Emblem like those commonly seen on cars
only way sexier. A cute fish, floating belly-up, illustrating
the mechanism of natural selection. Minimum order is 2.
  

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