Here's one that doesn't qualify for an award but might fit into your "personal accounts" category. As a movie/TV actor, stuntman & stunt coordinator, I have seen just about everything that could be classified as "human error", but this one has always been one of my favorite stories about my days in "Show Business".

During the filming of "The Adventures of Jodie", a low-budget Western, the director asked me (since I was one of the stuntmen/actors & a professional horse wrangler)match up the "townies" who had applied for work on the film with suitable horses. I figured we were going to have a problem as soon as I saw these guys...they were all dressed like they had just bought out a Western wear store, you've seen the types...big license-plate belt buckles, brand new Stetsons, & boots that had never been worn before that day. Not one of those guys even knew which end of a horse the hay went in! I passed this info along to an assistant (who promptly forgot to tell anyone else).

An hour later, Myself & the other 2 stuntmen saddled up with 20 wannabe cowboys mounted on 20 old ranch horses, the director yelled "Action!" and we drew our sixguns & charged the camera for the big "massacre" scene...a very prophetic name by the way.

We were galloping full-tilt with blazing guns (blanks of course) toward the stars who were firing back at us. I suddenly saw the stars fall on the ground laughing & the director jumping up & down & shrieking profanities. When I looked behind me, I saw 20 riderless horses running every which way, bucking & kicking, & 20 bodies lying on the ground, draped over mesquite bushes, & a few still flying through the air. Although it took about a dozen ambulances to carry off the "cowboys" thankfully there were no serious injuries.

The really funny part of this tale was when we were viewing the daily rushes (what was filmed that day). The 3 stars raised their rifles & fired a volley which instantly sent 20 riders out of their saddles! It was hilarious but a few days later we had to film it again...this time however, we used a bunch of the rancher's "real" cowboys.

The moral of this story? Simple. When you ask a man if he can ride a horse, don't take his word for it...men lie like dogs to impress their girlfriends...& try to be in the movies.

Submitted on 09/10/2007

Submitted by: Tex Hill
Reference: 1977

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Oh my! This one had me laughing so hard I nearly choked. Tex, thanks for one of the funniest personal accounts I have been privileged to read in quite a spell! Head 'em up! Move 'em out!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
That was a hoot, Tex! I myself rode a horse for the first time in my life (know what? I stayed on)! I was HAPPY just to stay on! I would NEVER try out for a mounted role given my one hour's time on a horse...I wouldn't be able to look my wife (an equestrian) in the eye if I were to fall off on film! Oh, yes...horses are dangerous, and falling off can be fatal, so this definitely gets my vote as a PA! PS I wonder if this movie came out on DVD and the outtake you mentioned is in the "bloopers" section...I'd love to see it!!

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